


This is Now

by GirlKnownSomewhere



Series: This is Now [1]
Category: The Monkees (Band), The Monkees (TV)
Genre: 1990s, Angst, Band Fic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, F/M, Flirting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Making Out, Older Man/Younger Woman, Reunions, Romance, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-23 00:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlKnownSomewhere/pseuds/GirlKnownSomewhere
Summary: Julianna spends the summer of 1996 witnessing the recording of Justus while navigating her relationship with Peter.
Relationships: Mike Nesmith/Victoria Kennedy, Peter Tork/OFC
Series: This is Now [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835587
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	1. Run Away

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, after finishing that epic one-shot from earlier, I just kept going with Peter/Julianna and this all happened, lol. I'm a little nervous about sharing the whole story because 1) this is the first time I've written a complete OFC 2) I rewrote a little more band history this time around to fit Julianna's character arc 3) I'm generally not as familiar with the Monkees behind the scenes in the 1990s compared to their history in the 1960s. But besides that, this was a lot of fun to write and I hope it can be somewhat of a small distraction from the state of the world currently. Enjoy, and stay healthy and safe everyone!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Monkees' brand or likeness (I kinda, sorta own Julianna, lol)

Ch. 1: Run Away

North Hollywood, summer 1996

A sharp, ringing noise filled Julianna’s subconscious as she dozed early Monday morning inside the recent apartment she and Peter had rented for the next three months. The two were currently lying in bed with Peter’s arm comfortably wrapped around her. As the ringing continued, she slowly realized someone was calling the bedroom phone on the nightstand. Julianna wobbly reached for the device while her eyes were still closed and she was still being held by Peter.

“Hello?...” She answered groggily.

“Hi, I was wrong about the arrival flight, it’s at 1:00, not 11:00,” a feminine voice suddenly declared.

“Huh?”

“So that should give you more time at the studio.”

“Wha? Who is this…” Julianna asked deliriously.

“Oh…Julianna, I need to talk to my dad.”

“Oh—oh!” The response suddenly dawned on the slightly older woman who was on the other end of the line and her eyes opened. “Um, ok…hold on…” She turned her body around in the bed and lifted Peter’s arm in an effort to wake him. When all he did was mutter a groan, she kissed his chin gently. “Hallie’s on the phone,” she informed him and offered the device. He grabbed it while rubbing an eye to get his wits. 

“Oh, hey, Hal. What’s up…” As the phone conversation continued, Julianna slipped out of the bed and Peter sat up on the opposite end of the mattress. The former then remembered how Peter and Hallie had arranged for her to fly and hang out for a couple days during the summer. Originally there were plans of both Hallie and her half-brother Ivan stopping by SoCal, but then suddenly it became just the daughter. When Julianna asked the reason why, he just told her simply “work,” which by now she knew was just a stock answer for a subject he didn’t want to discuss. Letting it go, though still inwardly curious, she went back to focusing on the fact they were living the whole season in LA. 

After the reunion at the Hard Rock Café went so well a year and a half ago, the concept of reforming sooner than later started feeling a lot more intriguing for the famous foursome. By midsummer last year, the group had recruited Davy’s old agent and ScreenGems producer Ward Sylvester as a new manager, and formed plans for a future album and national tour. Both of which were scheduled to coincide simultaneously from June through August. Naturally all four Monkees were expected to reunite this time unlike the 1980s reunions; and while Mike had agreed to performing in concert with the three band members, he backed out of the tour schedule at the last minute. His reasoning being that he needed extra time in the studio working on the new record as the band’s producer. But Julianna also heard from Victoria that things had been a bit tense at home because PBS was attempting to sue Mike’s production company Pacific Arts for the home video rights of his programs.

Another thing was that, while the idea of being invited to travel all over the country on a professional tour with Peter sounded exciting, it was also overwhelming that she would essentially have to drop everything in her life to participate. Particularly her regular gig at the library, which always brought her back to reality and was the constant normal thing in her life. Julianna really didn’t want to give up her job, but at the same time she didn’t want to separate from Peter either. Choosing was almost impossible, until she eventually came up with a solution.

“I’ll go, but you’ll have to find me something to do,” she concluded one afternoon while lounging on his living room couch. “I’m not going to be like one of your old groupies just sitting in the corner smoking weed the whole time.”

“Hey, that wasn’t weed, it was wine,” he corrected humorously while tuning his banjo.

She sighed still in hesitation. “It’s going to be hard to find another job that perfect again…”

“Juli, they’re not going to let you go that easy. You’re the best supervisor that building’s ever had,” he claimed assuring. “They’ll probably just substitute you with a graduate for the summer.”

“In any event…I’m serious about wanting work in LA,” she reminded.

“Okay, well, you can be our secretary or an assistant type,” Peter suggested coolly while idly playing a riff. “You know, schedule everything, remind us of appointments, talk to venue managers. Things like that.”

“…That’s just what Ward and Andrew will be doing anyway though.”

“Oh, right…hmm,” he dallied while strumming the instrument in thought. She kept an eyebrow raised as he was pensive. “Well, you could always be our girl Friday.”

She crinkled her nose befuddled. “A what?”

He looked up and let out a chuckle. “Oh, honey, I think you just aged me 50 years with that question.”

She was silent at that statement.

Peter set the banjo down on the end of the couch momentarily. “Back on the show, we had this girl named Marilyn who was the PA on the set, but also a secretary in the office; and would do odd errands around town like pick-up orders, dropping stuff off, shopping, and so on.”

Julianna computed his story for a second. “So…like an errand girl.”

“Basically, more or less,” he concurred. “Think of it like an internship, except you’d be getting paid the whole time, and you’d be promoted even quicker. And your boss pays for dinner,” he suggested with a playful grin, referencing their dates. “Hey, Marilyn was even a roadie on one of our tours, which could work out for you this time too!” He cheerfully realized.

“I don’t know if you want someone as inexperienced as me running a tour…” She cautioned.

“You already run a whole library,” he pointed out.

“Big difference between managing a room full of books and four grown men,” she argued.

“Hey, it’s only three of us on the road right now,” he winked.

She sighed and fell back on to the couch cushions to ponder briefly. “I appreciate the encouragement…I guess this works for now.”

Peter scooted over to her side of the couch to sit next to her. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, Jules. We still have a couple of weeks and anything could change,” he consoled. “I don’t want this to feel like a chore for you,” he added a bit somber.

She let out another breath, not wanting that to be the intention in her current predicament. “No, neither do I. I just…I don’t know.” She lightly reached over to take hold of his hand. “This past year was so perfect up here in the city…Hollywood is so different,” she pondered uncertainly. 

He kissed the top of her head and wrapped an arm around her to squeeze her shoulder. “It’ll be like a three month vacation. Except at concert venues and recording sessions,” he teased.

“I am really looking forward to the sessions,” she revealed. “Not that your regular sessions here aren’t cool, I love visiting them. But you know, they’re a little…”

“Quaint?” Peter offered.

“Yeah, heh,” Julianna agreed with a meek smile.

“Well, that’s to keep up with the plain, normal life you don’t want to lose,” he kidded.

“Sure,” she replied with another smile. “What movie do you want to watch after dinner tonight?” She asked changing the subject to one of their regular Sunday routines.

“How about **His Girl Friday**? I mean, it’s not just an expression, but also a movie,” he explained. “And a pretty fun one too. You liked **The Apartment** last time we watched AMC, so you’ll probably enjoy this too,” he declared jovially.

Her smile grew at his enthusiasm. “Alright, that’s fine, Pete.”

“Okay, sounds great, talk to you later.”

Julianna’s memory was abruptly broken with Peter hanging up the phone after ending his conversation with Hallie.

“Sorry, I’m not sure why she needed to call this early…” He apologized.

“Oh, no worries,” she insisted and stretched a bit to wake up her body in her T-shirt and PJ shorts. She then glanced at the bedside clock to see it was still only 7:50 AM.

He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed his reading glasses from the nightstand to cover his eyes. “So I’ll be out of here by 9:00, and you have that friend from school you’re meeting up with, right?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about me, just do your thing,” she assured with a smile.

“Great. I would bring you along to the studio, but Mike always gets weird about outsiders sitting in at band meetings…” He reluctantly clarified. “He should be somewhat mellow in a couple days.”

“It’s okay. I’d do the same thing,” she insisted. “Even if Judith didn’t live here, Victoria would probably ask me to meet up on Rodeo again anyway,” she theorized.

He gave an amused laugh. “You might have a point there.”

There was a small pause before Julianna continued. “Did…was Mike’s taste in women…always like this? Typically beautiful and…‘fun,’” she carefully worded. Peter looked a little surprised at the question and maybe unsure how to answer. “I mean, I’ve only met him a couple times, but…seems like an odd match.”

His hands casually landed on his hips in thought for a moment. “Well, Phyllis was great. Like the girl next door type. Mike and I weren’t particularly around each other during his second marriage, so I can’t really comment on that.” 

“Ah…” She nodded in acknowledgement. “How did that happen?” She blurted without much thought.

He made a ‘heh’ sound at the blunt question. “Oh, I guess old the cliché. Predictableness of men once they hit their 40s.”

She creased her brow at that, since he was the same age as Mike. “So how does that leave me?”

Peter froze for a split second, not expecting that retort, but then breezed up to her. “Well, obviously I lucked out with the most special exception,” he claimed with a flirty smile, wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her jawline. Julianna tossed her head back with a sarcastic grin at the sweet talking. “Where would I be without the best part of my life?” He asked rhetorically as he lowered to kiss her neck. 

“Alright,” she softly interrupted and took a step back while placing her hands on his upper arms. “I wasn’t actually fishing for compliments,” she stated with her smile still intact. “You should get dressed,” she reminded and glanced down at his T-shirt and boxers combo. He kissed her lips and playfully smacked her rear before stepping toward the closet. Julianna exhaled a comfortable breath while heading to the bathroom. Besides the fact that they were spending all summer away from home, a couple of physical features had also been altered for the pair since the Hard Rock reunion. Currently Julianna had maintained her natural curly hair down to a wavier style with some chemical assistance, and she had swapped some of her darker clothes for a few brighter colors. Peter physically looked the same 15 months later, though he had grown attached to his glasses more regularly and now had a penchant for vests.

Once Peter was out of the apartment, Julianna got dressed herself and then waited for her old college friend Judith to pick her up. Throughout the warm southern California day, the two essentially made the most of the free time with make-do tourist activities. Such as starting with the Santa Monica pier and ending with browsing through the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In between they window shopped and ate lunch around Westside. And naturally they caught up on what the other has been up to lately. Judith couldn’t get over the fact that Julianna’s boyfriend was not only 5 years younger than her dad, but also a well known musician. Probably because Judith was still with her college sweetheart who had finally proposed earlier this year. At the end of the day, Julianna met Peter at a Mediterranean restaurant across from their place for a quick meal.

“All I’m saying is after all those records broken in the ‘60s and ‘80s, it’s a little funny you guys don’t have a Grammy,” she teased the next day as they walked through NRG Studios to meet with the rest of the band. Peter had told her last night that Mike surprisingly claimed he was cool with her being around the recording room, so she took his word for it and tagged along.

“Rampant snobbery is a disease in the music industry,” he replied drolly while his arm rested on her shoulder. “You guys should’ve tried the Emmys.”

She snorted in jest. “If only we all had these kinds of dilemmas to deal with at work.”

“Hey, I don’t even care about awards,” he countered. “I signed up for all this for the easy gigs,” he claimed.

“Uh huh,” she smirked. “You know I’m just giving you a hard time, right?”

He turned to her as they found the hall leading to the session location. “Yes, and you’re pretty enough to get away with it,” he joked as his arm fell from shoulder and landed on her hip. Once inside the recording room, she spotted Mike, Micky and Davy seated next to the piano. There were two other men in the booth by the soundboard, whom she assumed were production engineers. Peter gave her a quick squeeze before letting go and moving to his bandmates. “Morning. You guys remember Julianna, right?” He asked casually while pointing to his girlfriend before taking a seat on the piano bench.

They glanced up to the younger woman and greeted her lightly. 

“She’s our own personal, paid intern this time around,” Peter continued slightly tongue-in-cheek.

“Or assistant,” she altered a bit to the group. “But only if you guys need anything, I don’t want to seem like a nuisance—”

Micky’s laugh cut her off. “I don’t think anyone would use that word for you. We’ve had visitors before.”

“Right…” She said a little reluctantly.

“Yeah, it’s not every day one of the groupies actually wants to work at the studio,” Davy added sardonically.

“He’s joking,” Peter suddenly halted before Julianna could take offense to the label. She noticed him pass a curt look to Davy before gripping her bag’s handle, still a little self-conscious. 

“Well, anyways. I just know you all wanted this to be a smaller project between the four of you, and I’m not a member of the band, so…”

“As long as you don’t interrupt or distract us during the process, you should be fine,” Mike finally spoke up in reassurance, though complete seriousness.

“Of course,” she agreed. “I’ll just…take a seat over here,” she ended a bit awkwardly and sat on a couch against a wall on the opposite end of the room.

For the rest of the day Julianna essentially felt like a wallflower observing the whole production process. Or pre-production, as they were still coming up with songs this early into the schedule. She kept hoping they would give her an assignment to do, even if it was just busy work around the building, but they primarily just ignored her. Which she didn’t really mind, but the whole composition procedures were a bit boring from the sidelines. Eventually she took out her planner and her copy of James Joyce’s **Dubliners** to keep herself occupied. Around lunchtime, Julianna noticed a couple of times that Peter stuck strictly to the piano or bass when the group managed to jam. She found that a little out of ordinary, as she’d only never seen him play the latter in the studio and stuck to guitar typically. In fact, the only person who seemed to be strumming a guitar today was Mike.

Near mid-afternoon while returning to the room with a cup of tea, Julianna could hear the four men in informal discussion. 

“Hey, why don’t we ask Juli?” She heard Peter exclaim.

She turned to find all four of them looking at her as she stopped in front of the couch again. “Hm?”

“Yeah, she’s young and hip to the new trends,” Micky continued.

“Uh, what’s your definition of ‘young?’ I just turned 30 and your demo used to be middle schoolers…” She pointed out.

“We’re trying to appeal to the masses and you’re our new source,” Peter declared cheerfully.

“Don’t know if I fit that role for you…” She lingered again in hesitation.

“You’re more likely to know what interest our fans these days than we probably are,” Davy added.

“Your fans like Portishead and Sarah McLachlan?” She asked half-seriously name dropping two of her favorite music acts.

Mike leaned back in his seat idly. “Our following still has a lot of original fans from the ‘60s, so not likely.”

“In that case, wouldn’t you just want to do what you always do? And not try to fit a new trend?”

“Well, people’s tastes grow over time,” he argued. “If you’re suggesting we stick to ‘bubblegum pop,’ we’ve always had multiple genres incorporated into our records.”

“Oh, I know,” Julianna quickly insisted. “I’ve listened to the albums—”

“Most successful groups eventually end up with a mixture of dedicated fans from the very beginning and newer fans of the current generation,” Mike explained cutting her off. “You get this?”

Julianna nodded slowly at his shortness. “So…you want a mix of old…and new on the record. What kind of sound were you thinking of for ‘new’?”

“Pearl Jam,” Mike instantly answered. 

A surprised chuckle escaped Julianna, but she tried to recover quickly. “I mean, they’re a great band, but…probably not what your listeners are checking for?” She theorized.

“But they’re modern and young music fans who listen to older music, still like the new stuff too,” he persisted.

“I understand that,” she concurred. “But if I were a Monkees fan at the moment—or younger, I think it would make more sense for me to be listening to a current band like, I don’t know…” She pondered for a moment. “Weezer, or Letters to Cleo. Rather than grunge.”

There was a silence at her interpretation, with Mike not looking impressed. Peter eventually jumped up to place his arms around her shoulders all proudly. “Isn’t she great?” He boasted.

A little over an hour later, the fivesome left the building for the rest of the day. Mike dashed ahead of everyone to hop into his car, while Davy and Micky chatted pleasantly on the way to their own vehicles. Peter and Julianna strolled behind sparely. “Well, only the first day and I’m already on Mike’s bad side. Great,” she commented sarcastically.

“He’ll probably forget all about it by tomorrow,” Peter suggested. “He’s got a lot on his plate presently.”

“Right,” she agreed loosely, then suddenly remembered the jamming from earlier. “Hey, how come you played so much bass today? I don’t think you picked up the guitar once.” 

“What are you talking about? I’m literally the bassist of the Monkees!” He reminded jollily. 

“I know you are on stage, but I thought you said you’re primarily on keys and guitar in the studio,” she passed back.

He shrugged. “We’re just trying something new this time, keeping our roles both on and off stage. Like ‘method’ playing,” he quipped.

“Huh. Alright then…” She left not fully convinced, even though that was a fairly sensible explanation.

“Why? Was I that rusty?” He asked while holding a grin.

“No!” She rapidly disputed. “I’ve just…never seen you play bass before,” she concluded rather lamely.

“Well, I’m glad I can still surprise you this far into the relationship, Jules,” he remarked amusedly and linked arms with her as they made it to their rented car. “How about I make that Chinese salad we were talking about before for dinner?” 

“Sure, sounds good,” she agreed with a content smile.


	2. What a Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one of the big things I rewrote was the scheduling of both the Justus tour and album recording to fit the fic narrative, which you may or may not notice depending on how big of a Monkees fanatic you are, heh.

Ch. 2: What a Night

Laughlin, June 1996

The following day, three of the Monkees, their hired backing band, roadies, plus Ward, Julianna and Davy’s new girlfriend Gillian, all spent the first half of the day driving up to Laughlin, NV on a tour bus. The band was kicking off the summer tour in the desert state and Julianna was excited to see the famous group in their element for the first time this decade. Of course, the irony wasn’t lost on her that three years ago the group was barely on her radar. But all the same, she figured their concerts were probably a little flashier than Peter’s regular local gigs with his solo band in NorCal. 

Since the drive to the show wasn’t exactly the easiest route, they were all spending two nights in the town, and including a bonus show on the second night at the venue Ramada. Currently Julianna and Gillian were sitting in the front of the audience, which got a kick out of Peter and he wished them luck inside the crowd. Julianna thought that was little bit of an overreaction. The crowd was pretty big, but what were the chances of this kind of fanbase getting wild? Apparently rather high, because by the end of the third song—Valleri—the two girlfriends jetted to the side of the room and entered backstage to the left side of the wings. But not without stifling a laugh at the extreme reactions from the fans. The concert was fun though, even if she noticed Micky and Davy still needed some assistance from the back-up musicians, Peter could clearly hold his own. It was great to see them play so many of his songs, as she was under the impression he took lead the least of the bandmates. Peter then sauntered up to her during a brief intermission after his regular keyboard solo and noticed her current levity.

“A bit livelier compared to my usual gigs with James and Darren, huh?” He asked vivaciously from the performance.

“This is hilarious,” she said amused. “These women probably have kids at home the same age as your fans were in the ‘60s.”

“Oh, don’t act like you wouldn’t be the same at a Devo concert,” he remarked amused at her amusement.

“Well…you got me there,” she offered for lack of a better response to him referencing her first favorite band, but still smiled all the same. He gave her a wink before leaving to his spot again with a new bottled water. For the rest of the show Julianna stayed near Peter’s side on the opposite end of the stage. She enjoyed and even felt a tinge of pride at her companion’s talent and effort along with the rest of the performances happening on stage.

Ending the late night returning to their hotel room, Julianna flipped on the light switch and yawned. Peter let out a long sigh in exhaustion, and collapsed his head on her shoulder. 

“I am so ready to fall into bed.”

Right as she could feel his head turning to kiss her neck, she raised her hand to his perspired arm. “After you shower, of course.”

“Of course…” He agreed. “But you know…it might be more thorough experience if you lent a helping hand…” He suggested coyly while lightly intertwining their fingers.

She smirked flirtatiously. “Well, since you put up such a convincing argument…”

Early the next morning, Julianna sat at the mini-dining table in the corner of the room with a cup of tea and a bagel while glancing pleasantly at the window view. She wore her short, summer nightgown and released a tiny yawn, still a bit beat from the previous night. Peter stepped into the room dressed and ready for the day. He glided over to her and kissed the top of her head. “Good morning, m’lady,” he ringed before moving to the kitchen. She smiled at the endearment. “Hope you’re ready for round two with the Threekees tonight,” he commented merrily while pouring a glass of orange juice. “I know it doesn’t fit in with your whole BoHo alternative crowd, but it looked like you were having fun.”

“Of course I was,” she assured him, with a light laugh. “You know, maybe it’s because I’ve only seen him in a working environment, but I’m having a hard time imagining Mike being a part of all that. I mean, the theatrics. Especially compared to Davy.”

“He usually just sticks to the corner of the stage,” Peter revealed. “You’re right though, Davy’s the most theatrical. You’ll get to see Mike in action on the international leg of the tour.”

The last statement made Julianna mentally pause for a moment. She had forgotten that there was going to be even more touring after the US dates. That was great for the band, and she was happy for them, but as a plus-one it was a bit…overpowering. 

“Plus as you’ve noticed, we’re all a little more toned down in general at the studio,” he continued, breaking her thoughts.

“Yes, in between judging my opinions and calling me a groupie,” she sarcastically toted plainly.

Peter took a seat next to her at the table before responding assuredly: “That won’t be a regular thing.”

“Ah,” she nodded, though not very convinced. “I don’t know what I was expecting. This is dumb, I should just get a job in town for the summer,” she pondered.

He chuckled at her comments. “But who’s going to hire you when you’re out of town four days of each week for touring?”

Julianna sat up a little straighter and took her time answering. “About that…I’ve been thinking and…I think I should stay in LA for the tour,” she confessed cautiously.

His expression rapidly switched to worried. “What? Why?”

“Peter, this isn’t my thing. I mean, I love watching you play, but I’m not built for all the traveling. It’s only been the first day and I’m already exhausted,” she explained.

“That could be because of the…extracurricular activities we participated in the bedroom,” he suggested slyly.

She rolled her eyes. “I was already tired before that,” she sighed and then carried through. “It’s just that I’m such a homebody. You know I’m most satisfied in the living room with my journal or a novel.”

“I know, and I love you for it. That’s why I hoped you would like the Raymond Carver collection—”

“Peter, I know you didn’t really think buying me a book would convince me to fly around the country for a national tour,” she argued, though couldn’t help but smirk a little. “But I did appreciate the thought anyway—”

“Hold that for a sec, because I just thought up a brilliant idea,” he interrupted determined. Julianna barely reacted and let him speak. “How about you start out tagging along on only the west coast shows, and then once you see how easy it is to get accustomed to, join us on the second half for the east coast,” he ended with a ‘ta-da’ type expression.

“I don’t know…” She strayed.

“We won’t even have to use hotels for the west because the shows will all be local or short flights,” he reminded.

“But this trip was almost a five hour drive…”

He shook his head, “That’s only for the Nevada and Arizona dates. And we’re done with Nevada after this weekend,” he reminded.

“Well…” She still hesitated despite his plan making fair amount of sense.

Peter then suddenly dropped to his knees in front of her and gripped her arms in faux-desperation. “You can’t leave, Jules. I’m no good without you.”

“Oh, God,” she exasperated flippantly.

“If you go, all the plants are gonna die.”

“What plants? I’m the one staying home.”

He grabbed her hand and started kissing up her arm just as exaggeratedly. “Darling, light of my life,” he added in between pecks.

She let out a big breath. “Alright, I’ll go to the west coast shows,” she finally agreed.

Peter leaned up to embrace her in relief and kissed her cheek. “I promise you won’t regret it,” he claimed still holding her.

“Oh, don’t I know it,” she commented dryly, though felt a smile form on her lips at his excitement.


	3. Movin' In

Ch. 3: Movin’ In

North Hollywood, June 1996

The next week was spent completely in Hollywood with the group composing and recording at the record studio. Julianna had been given tasks to do around the neighborhood, even if it was just scattered errands like beverage runs and finding more paper for them to make lyrics. Or currently, her returning from a lunch break with snacks and a new pair of headphones for Mike’s personal walkman (because he insisted he just had to have them as soon as possible). Julianna placed her sunglasses on top of her head as she walked through the corridor and opened the door back into the secluded studio room. Almost immediately she sensed something was off, and got a direct confirmation when the door to the soundboard booth flew open and Mike popped out.

“Oh great, maybe you can deal with his ADD crap,” he grumbled before rushing out of the room.

Julianna took a step back in surprise at the abruptness and looked over to the booth to see Micky in the second chair usually meant for the engineer. 

“What’s that about?” She asked referencing Mike’s small outburst.

He tilted his head to the other end of the room. “Your man keeps getting, er…distracted for the past hour.”

She looked up to see Peter committedly noodling on the piano keys and found a small, paper coffee cup on top of the instrument. She closed her eyes and felt her throat release a tiny groan. Julianna had a strong feeling that ‘ADD’ comment was directly aimed at Peter’s occasional tendency to get hyper-active. More often than not when he’s on an adrenaline kick from performing or with something like caffeine in his system. She turned and handed Micky the food and Mike’s headphones, then carefully walked to his bandmate. When she stopped just a foot behind his seat, she placed her hand on his shoulder and he instantly turned to her.

“Oh hey, Juli—here.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her into his lap. She was barely fazed by the sudden action and only gave a ‘oof’ sound as she settled into the new position on his right thigh. “This one’s just for you,” Peter stated contently before winging his arm around her to go into a bit of Bach’s ‘Jesu/Joy’ on the keys. She smiled even though she’d heard the music played by him numerous times at home. It still made her happy to see him enjoy his craft so much. He ended after about 30 seconds of playing.

“Aw, that was lovely,” she complimented which got him to smile warmly. “But you know, you could’ve done that on the keyboard at the apartment,” she teased lightly.

“Don’t waste inspiration, as they say,” he casually returned.

“Even when it’s classical music?” She baited. He didn’t take the hint and just wrapped his arm around her waist again. She glanced back to the mostly empty coffee cup. “That’s not the Earl Grey I got you this morning,” Julianna noted calmly. 

Peter looked to the cup she mentioned. “Oh, well…eventually I needed to replace the empty tea cup,” he said simply and played some more notes with his left hand.

She sighed and raised her left arm to rest it on his shoulder. “Can you at least give me a heads-up next time so I don’t waste the money?”

He laughed. “Juli, I doubt the label’s worried about $2 of the budget.”

“Maybe not. But your bandmates might…” She vaguely made as reference to the tension that lingered when she returned from lunch. Before he could respond, she heard the door to the studio open again and softly ran her hand through the back of his hair as a distraction from the sound. Julianna spent the next five minutes continuingly chatting and would occasionally play with his hair and rub his hand as an attempt to soften his energy. When she could sense he was subdued enough, she also felt through her peripheral vision three people near the soundboard looking at them. Another minute went by when the other band members saw her whisper into Peter’s ear and kiss it before standing up. She walked over to her now designated corner of the studio and Peter jumped up to face the rest of the group. 

“You guys want to finish working on that bridge of ‘What a Night’?” He offered with a big smile.

Julianna passed them a smug grin on her face while strolling to her seat. Davy and Micky appeared thoroughly entertained at the incident while Mike acted like he wasn’t paying attention to the couple.

“Well now, why didn’t I think of that,” Micky commented sarcastically while moving to the drum set.

“I have no idea,” she remarked just as cheekily.

At the end of the day, Julianna lingered a bit behind Peter as he made a trip to the restroom and she finished packing her bag. When she passed by the booth, she heard Mike call her name.

“Did I hear through the vine you’re thinking of not going on the tour?” He asked as he leaned back in his chair after flipping off one of the switches on the board.

She leaned against the door frame. “Yeah—well, I’m going to the west coast gigs, but…I don’t know, I feel a little overwhelmed at the concept of traveling all over the country. Is that terrible?” She asked a little self-consciously.

“I wouldn’t say so. The routes can be a bitch. Hence why I’m a studio man now,” he loosely claimed and pointed to the general area.

She sported a lopsided grin at him downplaying his life situation currently. After a few seconds of neither saying anything, Julianna spoke. “Well…see you tomorrow.”

“Actually…” He stopped her from turning to the other door. “I wanted to say…” Julianna noticed his stance subtly turn a little more modest. “I mean, I know you probably think we only view you as a fly on the wall.”

“Especially when you have me buy you headphones that’s clearly just an excuse to get me out of the room,” she teased, though meant it.

“Sure,” he agreed bluntly, not bothering to sugarcoat her correct assumption. “But I’m not just referring to you dealing with us and our neuroses…I appreciate that you’ve been hanging with Victoria since coming to LA. You know, I’m not home a lot lately…”

“I understand,” she reassured.

“She has her own friends, but she seems to like you a lot for whatever reason.”

“I might be the first person she’s met in a while without an agent or portfolio,” Julianna theorized.

Mike let out a chuckle. “Probably…anyways, I just wanted to say…thank you.” He said it like it was almost a struggle.

“Sure. I don’t mind. Victoria’s fine,” she continued assuring him.

He nodded as a reply. “Oh, by the way. I also have an offer for you.”

Her face lit up in unexpectedness. “Oh?”

“Since you’re going to be hanging around while they’re on the road…I could actually use your assistance on some things, besides what you’re doing right now,” he explained.

“Wouldn’t Victoria be more…” She stopped her suggestion when she noticed him sport a slightly uncomfortable expression. 

“This deal with PBS is taking a lot longer than it should be…” Mike continued ambiguously and a bit irritated. “I thought I’d let you know first if you want more work. Though you’d have to put up with me twice as much,” he joked dryly. “I could get you a raise with an actual assistant position since it’ll just be you and me in here while they’re gone,” he extended.

This was pretty much exactly what Julianna had in mind when she agreed to live in SoCal for the season. It sounded promising, but of course, in her head she was picturing Peter being here too. But maybe the challenge was also good for the relationship’s growth. “Can I get back to you? I mean, it sounds great, but I technically still haven’t told Peter if I’m leaving for the second half of the tour…”

His earlier aloof attitude returned, and he nodded coolly. “Take your time.”

She smiled in relief. “Thanks,” and then left the room with a wave goodbye before finding Peter.

A week later, Julianna casually lounged around backstage at the Universal Amphitheatre in LA while the band set up for the night’s concert. Victoria even stopped by to watch the gig though Mike was absent in spite of it being a home show. When Julianna heard the crowd cheer as the lights turned up for the opening song, the two women moved closer to the side of the stage to watch the performances. The Bay Area local wore a dark blue dress that stopped above her knees and had long sleeves, and she kept her hair down naturally. The model wore a simple strappy black dress that went to her feet, she and kept her hair down too. By the fourth song, a man who looked around their age stood by their end of the wings and began speaking to them. He, apparently called ‘Joe,’ was a friend of a venue employee and taking advantage of the perks that could come with it. Which Julianna quickly discovered was an excuse to chat up two pretty ladies, as she noticed his tone change from friendly to flirty after about 15 minutes. This amused her, and she probably would have played along if she was single since he seemed cute enough. She tried to be vague with her answers as they occasionally conversed throughout the show. Near the end, Victoria excused herself to find a beverage. 

When Joe asked Julianna what her and Victoria’s connections to the band were, she responded loosely that they were familiar with a couple of people affiliated with the group. Right as she heard the band take a bow after the encore, he casually asked who on their team. But before she could answer, Peter popped up next to her and kissed her temple.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted pleasantly. 

The younger man looked momentarily stunned, clearly not expecting her to be with one of the band members. Julianna had to bite the inside of her cheeks to hold back a laugh forming and just smiled in return. Once Joe awkwardly parted and was out of site, she let out an animated cackle. 

“Was that guy hitting on you?” Peter asked almost as enthused as she was.

“Yeah, but that reaction was almost worth it,” she replied as her laughing settled down.

“Alright then,” he said blithely. “How was the show on your side of the stage?” 

“Great, as always,” she answered with her own grin and took hold of his hand. “Was that wink for me after your harpsichord solo?”

“No, actually, it was for Victoria. Thought she was looking a little lonely without her usual date,” he jested.

“Aw, how thoughtful,” she passed back also sarcastically. When she turned to trek to where the rest of the group was, he stood back and kept hold of her hand for her attention.

“Hey, you know…this is the last California gig…”

“Uh huh…” She agreed, not getting the hint.

“So…what are you thinking for the rest of the tour?” He asked carefully.

“Oh…oh, right. I forgot tell you,” she started in realization. “Mike offered me to be his assistant at the studio while you guys are away.”

He chuckled a bit. “He couldn’t ask Victoria to do that?”

“I think he was thinking it might be more convenient since I’m already there,” she considered.

“Ah, I see,” he said easily. 

Julianna held another pause before continuing. “…I think I want to do it.”

Peter looked mildly surprised, though she could tell it was mostly a put on. “Well at least you won’t be bored.”

“You don’t mind? I mean, I know you and Mike have an…interesting history,” she reminded carefully.

He just shrugged. “Old news, really. I mean, I’ll miss you on the road, but I want you to do what you feel is best.”

She smiled lightly and hugged him. She heard him sigh and felt him rub her back a couple of times before taking her hand again and leading her out of the stadium.


	4. Counting on You

Ch. 4: Counting on You

Hollywood, July 1996

Peter did a pretty convincing job of acting like he wasn’t disappointed Julianna didn’t change her mind about staying in LA. She was thankful for it though felt like she also needed to remind him that he wasn’t going to be gone literally all summer.

“You’ll still see me a couple of days each week for the recording sessions,” she noted standing in jeans and a zip-up sweatshirt by the front door of the apartment four days after the Universal show. His travel bags already packed for the week and sitting by said door.

“Are you kidding? Just being separated from you for a day is already tough enough,” he claimed in a light tone while grabbing a bag of nuts for a quick snack.

“Aww, Pete,” she mildly gushed with a smile. “But maybe this is good for us for a change. I mean, we’ve practically been with each other non-stop since I moved into your house. Save for work, obviously.”

“You make a good point,” he nodded. “As to be expected as the bright one in the relationship,” he quipped with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, sure. I keep forgetting I’m involved with the silly Monkee.”

“Only on camera,” he amended before tossing the nuts on top of his bigger bag and standing in front of her. “I’m gonna miss this face,” he said tucking a wavy piece of hair behind her ear.

“Good thing I know you already have a photo of it in your wallet,” she grinned sardonically.

“Not the same without your voice,” he claimed as he raised his other hand to cup her face.

“So call me every night then,” she bluntly suggested, smile still intact. 

A long set of comfortable seconds went by with Peter just adoringly holding her face until Julianna eventually leaned forward for a kiss. She intended it to be a chaste goodbye kiss, but Peter gradually continued it more passionately. He tenderly grazed her cheek with his thumb as his other hand lowered to land on her neck. When their mouths opened slightly, she embraced him as her emotions overtook her. He let the hand on her neck trail down to her hip and then to her lower back. She sighed into his mouth as they leaned her back on to the wall. Peter’s lips left hers to kiss along her jawline and up to the spot right below her ear when Julianna gasped and declared in a big breath: “You’ll be back on Tuesday.”

She heard him exhale deeply and rest his forehead on her shoulder for a moment. 

“Reminder,” she added while still catching her breath and feeling her face flush.

He sighed once more and sported an affable grin as he looked back to her.

“Nice try though,” she continued with a smirk, figuring his little seduction was a somewhat desperate attempt to convince her to leave with him.

He gave her an additional peck on the lips before straightening his stature. “Still worth it.”

“Good,” she agreed while leaning on the wall for support loosely. He picked up his bags and gave her a final farewell. 

“See you in a few days.”

****

For the next month, Julianna found a haphazard routine of being a personal assistant, supportive girlfriend and semi-tourist/temporary local around LA county. Peter did return four days later, and while exuberant at reuniting with the younger woman, pretty much collapsed in bed of exhaustion from the set of traveling and performing. Which mostly became common for his first night whenever coming back to LA. They still did their regular things around the apartment, like enjoying the novels they were current reading together on the couch; or lazily watching local news on TV in bed. The couple liked to power walk in the middle of the city not only for exercise, but as a way to make it feel more like life up north. Julianna had yet to find a park she felt ‘at home’ most in, but she did discover a local library that helped ease homesickness that might hover occasionally. 

The most interesting and exciting parts of summer kept happening at the recording studio, which wasn’t really a surprise to her. Julianna found the band dynamic fascinating, especially since Peter was collaborating with musicians he wasn’t necessarily buddy-buddy with like back home. Mike was a bit of a perfectionist, though she kept that opinion to herself. Peter’s ‘ADD’ moments could be tiring, but when he was toned down, she was reminded of his usual charisma. The two had a few, subtle passive aggressive moments that she noticed, but were primarily cordial, fortunately. Davy and Micky weren’t really musicians in the traditional sense like Mike and Peter, but were professional and had their own inputs creatively. The actual songs though, was…a difficult matter. Julianna tried to be as open-minded to the pop-rock compositions as she could. Even without much effort she could easily appreciate and enjoy the group’s classic records once she gave them a shot. Here, it was clear the men wanted to be accessible to modern times, but also couldn’t help being a little out of touch just by age and experience. They could still play, no doubt, but sometimes Julianna felt like she was watching four men in their early 50s trying to fit in with the 20-30 crowd. She also wasn’t expecting Davy to contribute the catchiest songs, or Micky’s lyrics to be so bitter this time. The latter Peter told her was influenced by his divorce, but it must have been pretty bad since he was already single by the time she met him over a year ago. Of course she liked Peter’s tracks too, but that was also a bias since she knew the lyrics were about her. She didn’t know what to do with any of these impressions especially since the group was legitimately trying to make a new, fresh LP with only the four of them contributing. 

Julianna also was still having to undertake working with Mike one-on-one. He wasn’t exactly dull, but sometimes when he had her do a task with him directly—like randomly asking her opinion on tracks—she felt out of her league.

“Mike, you really don’t want me as your mouthpiece for contemporary culture,” she pushed not for the first time.

“Why not?” He asked casually at the soundboard before taking a bite of a BLT Julianna grabbed for him from across town.

“Well for one, I’m more of a book person than a music person,” she reminded, “Two, I may be younger than you, but I’m still not _that_ young.” She put an emphasis on the word ‘young’ with air quotes. “I couldn’t even tell you what college kids are listening to these days.”

“You did the first day of recording,” he countered.

“Both of those bands have had hit singles,” she indicated. “I meant like college radio. In my day, REM and the Smiths were what students were paying attention to. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Mike just enjoyed his sandwich without responding for a few seconds, not convinced on her argument.

“I mean…If you really want my honest opinion, I think you should stop wondering how young fans are going to view your new record,” she carefully confessed.

“Then we would be out of touch,” he continued arguing.

“Well not entirely…parents still listen to music too.”

“No one thinks parents are hip,” he persisted. “In any event, who caters to only old fans? Don’t you think that would be a little restrictive?”

Julianna sighed in frustration at him refusing to see her view on the matter. “I’m not saying you should pander, just that you’d be surprised how open people are with their tastes.”

When he didn’t reply to her claim, she altered the topic a bit. “Why not go back to basics with an acoustic ballad for a track? Everyone likes a simple arrangement. Like ‘Nine Times Blue.’ I really like that song.”

Mike looked genuinely shocked that she would reference an old composition of his, particularly since this one is what would be considered a ‘deep cut.’ “You really did listen to the LPs.”

She laughed. “Of course I did. I wasn’t lying.”

“You heard the ‘Missing Links’ version, I take it.”

“Yeah. Is there more than one version?” She asked curious.

He threw away the paper plate his sandwich was originally on after taking a final bite, then spoke again. “I re-recorded it on my first solo record after Colgems shelved the Monkees original.”

Her face lit in pleasant surprise. “Oh…I will look into that then,” she said hopefully and went to head back to her corner.

“While you’re at it, check out my album from a couple years ago: ‘Tropical Campfires.’ You might find a surprise on it,” he suddenly added.

She turned to face him again with an eyebrow raised. “Alright. Thanks for the suggestion.” 

Curiosity got the best of Julianna on the way back to the apartment that late afternoon. She stopped by the library to use a public computer to look up Mike’s discography on the internet. She found the track listing of ‘Tropical Campfires’ and discovered a bizarre coincidence of the 6th song being called ‘Juliana.’ She then naturally wondered the context of the tune, and who it was for, especially since she knew he was already with Victoria by the time the record was made. Though, it also occurred to her that this was also probably why since meeting Mike, he’d only ever referred to her as ‘Jules.’


	5. When It All Comes Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not proud that 80% of this chapter was an excuse for expository dialogue, lol

Ch. 5: When It All Comes Down

Westwood, July 1996

On the last Monday in July, Julianna genially lounged around the apartment with a free morning that weekend. She sported pigtails, a light blue T-shirt and denim shorts on the midsummer day. As she passed by the kitchen after grabbing an apple, Peter entered through the front door after a jog. 

“Morning!” She chirped merrily.

“Hi,” he returned while breathing deeply from the exercise. “Dig the farm girl look,” he teased with a playful tug at one of her pigtails while heading to the shower. 

“Thanks,” she half-laughed as he left the room and she sat on the couch. Around the time she heard the shower turn off, Julianna just happened to mark a page of her copy of John Grisham’s **The Pelican Brief** to end the morning. 

“Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. I finished **The Glass Key** a couple days ago.”

She heard Peter announce while still in the bathroom, and she stood up to walk a few steps closer to hear him better. “Oh, great,” she said, perking up at him reading another one of her recommendations.

“You weren’t joking about the **Yojimbo** similarities,” he continued.

“Well, I like to think it’s more inspiration than plagiarism,” she considered and then heard him chuckle.

“Love your optimism, Juli.”

Julianna grinned lazily while her eyes meandered to a pile of mail on the small table next to the front door. For the hell of it, she walked over to see what was in the pile and found it was a going-out set. They rarely sent out mail since they technically weren’t home, but sometimes it was necessary as they were away from the house for multiple months. She saw items like a bill, a postcard, and something unfamiliar at the very bottom…

She crinkled her brow and picked up the envelope to find an address she didn’t recognize. “You know someone in Georgetown? Who’s Mary—”

Peter was instantly in front of her, whipped the envelope out of her hand and tried to distract her with a quick kiss. “I was thinking we should do a picnic today. It’s something we still haven’t done outside yet,” he suggested off topic.

“What’s that?” She asked referring to the envelope.

“What?” He feigned ignorance while holding the object behind his back.

She looked at him blankly at his lack of explanation. “The envelope you’re hiding right now?”

He paused before reluctantly pulling it back into view. “Oh…just a letter.”

She was unconvinced. “A letter? Why did you react like that?”

“Like what?” He continued to act innocent.

“Like it was a secret or something.”

“It’s not a secret,” he said nonchalantly.

She persisted. “Who’s it for then?”

“It’s a fan letter,” he claimed.

She was having a hard time believing him. “You respond to fan mail through your personal address?”

“Yeah. I mean, sometimes. It’s not like we have a regularly active fan club anymore,” he pointed out.

“Why did you snap it out of my hand if it’s just for a fan?”

“I didn’t snap it out of your hand,” he claimed with a tinge of amusement.

“Uh, yes you did,” she said growing more peeved by the moment.

“Well, you’re jumping the gun a little, don’t you think? I could’ve been writing to a relative,” he suggested.

“Who? Your family’s scattered between Connecticut and California,” she argued back.

“What difference does it make? This is getting a little ridiculous, Jules.” 

“Because you’re acting weird.”

“I’m not acting weird, you are.”

She released a sarcastic laugh. “Me? You won’t tell me who you’re writing to.”

“No, I did. You just don’t like the answer.” He was now starting to sound annoyed too.

“Yeah, clearly because if it was just a fan you wouldn’t have ripped the letter out of my hand,” she strongly persisted.

“Okay, how about this, Julianna,” Peter retorted. “If you’re really having trouble believing me, you can open it and see for yourself.” He held out the envelope bluntly. She paused at the suggestion and looked at the piece of mail, already signed and sealed for delivery. She glanced back up at him to read his expression. He didn’t show much emotion and just appeared as if he was waiting to see if she would take the bait. After holding her breath for about five seconds she suddenly shoved his hand holding the letter into his chest, rushed to the bedroom and shut the door.

****

“…You ever wonder if Mike’s cheated?”

Victoria’s hand froze mid-raise while holding her iced mocha cappuccino in shock at the question Julianna just asked. The two now casual friends were enjoying lunch outside on the west side of town on a nice, sunny day. Victoria appeared like she never really considered Julianna’s suggestion. “No…” Then her face quickly switched to worry. “Why? Have you heard something?”

“What? No! That’s not what I—” Julianna let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed her nose’s bridge. “Last weekend I think I might have found a letter Peter wrote to another woman,” she confessed.

Victoria’s eyebrows rose in even more surprise. “Really? Who?”

“Ugh, some girl in Georgetown. It’s been bugging me all week,” she carried more frustratedly.

“He still knows people in DC?” 

“Not that I’m aware of. His family all moved to the east coast by the time he was in school,” she sighed once more.

“Well…what did the letter say?” Victoria continued cautiously.

“I don’t know! It was already sealed, and I thought if I opened it, I would appear paranoid and unstable,” she revealed annoyed.

The model took a sip of her coffee. “Did he still send it?”

“I’m not sure,” Julianna began while playing with the straw of her iced tea. “I ignored him for the rest of the day,” she said, not liking how the memory sounded out loud.

There was a pause before Victoria started again. “…You’re not still, are you?”

“No,” she confirmed while sitting up straighter. “I let it go by the next morning. But it’s still lingering in the back of my mind.”

“Alright, well…what was his excuse?”

“He just said it was a fan letter,” Julianna answered before taking a gulp of her tea. 

“…Really?”

“Yeah, I know,” she agreed drolly. 

Victoria tossed some of her hair over her shoulder and leaned back into her seat. “Okay, well…let’s think about this. You still don’t have proof she was…uh…something more.”

Julianna rubbed her eye tiredly and placed her sunglasses back on before crossing her arms.

“Have you noticed any other signs of cheating? Since then and…looking back? When do you think it might have started?” The straight-haired brunette investigated.

“I couldn’t even tell you that. He offers to include me in everything, so I didn’t think this would happen, honestly,” Julianna answered weakly.

Victoria raised an eyebrow at that. “Even though he’s a musician?”

Julianna was unresponsive for a couple seconds. “Well…so is Mike and you’re with him.”

“I mean, sure, but he also hasn’t toured regularly since the ‘70s…”

“Oh, right…” She remembered. “So…you’ve seriously never considered it either?”

Victoria shrugged. “Not really. I mean, when he’s not in the studio, he usually locks himself in the garage or the computer room. It’s like living with my dad.”

Julianna internally cringed at the comparison. “What about…Nurit…?” She awkwardly reminded her of Mike’s affair during his first marriage.

“Eh, but that was forever ago. Like one of those bad mistakes you make in your 20s and then never again,” Victoria claimed plainly.

The wavy-haired woman found that response just as naïve as her own predicament, but didn’t mention it. “Okay…how does he deal with fan mail?”

“Not sure, actually. Ever since he launched the website, he just talks to fans on the internet. So I guess there really isn’t much reason to write him,” Victoria explained.

Julianna sighed again in frustration. “Lucky you,” she commented sounding a little more put out than she intended.

The other woman sat silent for a moment at her friend’s reaction. “Okay, enough about me and Mike. Wasn’t Peter already doing shows all the time before the group reunited?”

“Yeah, but usually they’re just up and down the state,” she explained. “So he would be back by the next day.”

“Well…what about the free time when he’s not traveling?” 

Julianna thought about it for a second. “I doubt it. Unless he’s going off in the middle of the night…” She pondered not entirely convinced at her own theory.

Victoria bite her bottom lip a little cautiously. “I don’t want this to be a possibility, but…Juli, maybe he kept pushing for you to go on tour with them…So he wouldn’t feel tempted…” 

Julianna let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in and ran her hands over her face in defeat. “I’m so dumb. Fuck.”

Victoria felt a sense of empathy hit her. “But I could also be assuming the worst. You guys are still having sex, right?”

“Well…he’s back for two or three nights each week…We usually make love once a week, since he’s exhausted from returning after the shows the first night…He calls me every day though…” She tried not to second-guess herself with her own memories.

“I don’t know…That sounds pretty normal to me, Jules…” Victoria tried to assure her. “Honestly, that’s more than me and Mike sometimes, heh.”

“Yeah, Peter’s really good in that area,” Julianna felt her cheeks blush a little. 

Victoria smirked. “Lucky you,” she returned referencing the same response Julianna sarcastically said. The latter’s worry paused for a second while she sported an expression that she got the dig.

“I hate this. I’ve never been this upset with him before,” Julianna spoke after couple moments.

“Well, that’s good! Especially since you’ve been together for three years, right?”

“Three years in November. November’s when we met, but I think January would be when we became official…” She felt a smile on her lips as she fondly reminisced of the early courtship. Victoria smiled as well at Julianna’s reaction to her own memory. 

“That’s great, Juli,” she said genuinely. “Some couples have their first fight a lot earlier.”

“Yeah, I thought so anyway,” Julianna concurred. “I mean, it’s not like we’ve never had disagreements. We can be short with each other on a bad day, and his…’addictive personality’ can be a lot on occasion. But, I don’t know…most of the time the other, good parts made up for it. Like, it would be great how he could be happy anywhere when we went into town, whether it was lowkey or packed. Or how we both love reading, so we naturally could go afternoons with just our books and not feel like it’s necessary to speak. Before I used to worry if I didn’t have enough to say the guys would get bored with me…I love his goofy dance moves he does when he hears a good song…” Her comments stopped as she got lost in her thoughts.

“…How many boyfriends did you have before Peter?”

Julianna broke out of her trance when she heard Victoria’s voice. “What?”

“Just curious,” the other brunette clarified.

“Oh, um…Three,” she answered. “Not counting guys I only went out with for a couple of months.”

“That sounds average…and none of them ended because of another woman?”

“Well…the last relationship ended because the guy—Darrell, got a great job offer in Washington and I wimped out and didn’t want to move out of state…Then before that—Sam realized he was gay and in love with his best friend. And then my college boyfriend, Kevin really wanted us to try a threesome…I was pretty vanilla, I didn’t think I could go through with something like that…Thinking about it now, he probably did cheat at some point,” she concluded.

“Sounds like you really did luck out with Peter,” Victoria offered softly.

“Yeah…even looking back, the age difference was never really a big thing for us either. I just hated how everyone else made it one. But being with him made it all go away easily…”

“He is pretty cute,” the friend agreed.

“It’s still a little awkward with his kids…I don’t know. I think they might make excuses to not visit. But that’s a different conversation,” Julianna concluded.

“That’s common,” Victoria claimed. Julianna then remembered the former was in a similar situation as her.

“Oh, yeah…This is stupid,” she suddenly exclaimed upset. “I should be able to expect him to be faithful when I’m not around.” She declared with an extra breath. “People leave town for work all the time, not everyone’s having an affair.”

“Bit of a difference between a two-day business trip and a three-month tour…”

Julianna wasn’t amused at the comparison and ran her hands through her hair in annoyance.

“But, who knows, maybe it was just a fan letter. If you can’t find any other clues and it took you this long to consider it…” Victoria countered. “I mean, that’s really impressive. Especially with what was going on at his house in the ‘60s,” she ended with a bit of a laugh.

Julianna creased her brow in confusion at the last statement. “…What do you mean?”

Victoria looked simultaneously amused and surprised. “You don’t know?”

Julianna didn’t respond and just waited for her to expand her comment. Victoria leaned forward in her seat and whispered in her ear, then sat back down barely holding in a giggle. “…No way,” Julianna said skeptical. “I mean, I live with him, I would have noticed something like that by now…”

“It’s not exactly something you do past a certain age…” Victoria considered in more amusement.

The assistant sat there still in disbelief. “Huh…”


	6. Since You Went Away

Ch. 6: Since You Went Away

LA, August 1996

Two days after Julianna’s lunch with Victoria, stood propped up against the kitchen counter while using the portable apartment phone. It was almost 9:00 PM and Julianna was in a big T-shirt for PJs and amid a conversation with Peter.

“How’s Connecticut? Must be nice to visit home. Even if it’s just for the show,” she pondered.

“Great! Though not as great as it could be with you here,” he responded without missing a beat.

“Thanks…maybe next time,” she replied with a smile that didn’t entirely meet her face.

“Next time is next year, you know,” he pointed out pleasantly. 

“Oh…right…” She lingered as the band’s tour schedule came back to her.

“…You alright?” Peter asked as she could hear more commotion on the other end of the line.

Julianna shook herself back to reality and put her attention back to the phone call. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I can’t wait to get back to LA. It’s just never a full good night’s sleep in an empty bed,” he declared.

“Is it, really?” She slipped out of her mouth without thinking.

“What?” He asked raising his tone a bit louder as she heard a big crowd walk by him on the other end.

“Nothing,” she said quickly as a cover-up and ended the call with: “I’m glad you’re coming home soon too.” 

**** 

The following Wednesday day morning, Peter and Julianna lay naked in bed, peacefully post-coital feeling no particular need to get up. The musician kept his eyes closed with a happy smile on his face and seemingly no worries. The former librarian lie with her head placed on the crook of his arm-shoulder, her mouth formed into a lopsided shape as she contemplated breaking the silence.

“So…Victoria told me something interesting last weekend…” 

She felt his chest vibrate from releasing a light chuckle. “Oh, boy.”

“About a…hobby you supposedly had in your late 20s…” She carefully continued, then slightly turned her head to look up to her left when she heard a sigh and saw his eyes open. Peter gingerly wrapped an arm around her.

“Yes, darling, I’m afraid the rumor’s true. Your love had his episodes of psychedelic freak-outs and happenings with that so-called rabid counterculture in the mid-20th century,” he declared in a faux-dramatic voice. She smirked playfully and turned her whole body to face him.

“You dropping acid during your hippie years doesn’t shock me. I figured as much anyway,” she said. “But I meant the other hobby…”

He laughed lightly again. “Well, Juli, I think it would be obvious by now I don’t walk around the house naked anymore.”

She released her own chuckle. “Yeah, for sure.” She moved back from his embrace to prop herself up on her elbow to fully look at him. “I meant the _other_ , other hobby…”

There was a silent pause until he quietly let out a sound that she couldn’t tell was an ‘ah’ or ‘heh.’

“Is that something you’re still interested in?” She finally asked a bit reluctantly. 

There was another, longer pause before Peter’s hand reached up to cup her cheek and softly rub his thumb along it a couple of times. He gently pulled her forward for a light kiss. “That was a long time ago,” he said calmly. 

She couldn’t decide if she was satisfied with that answer and just looked at him leniently. Eventually she moved herself a bit away from his embrace and set her head on her palm in thought. “It’s weird, I can’t imagine you doing that,” she mentioned loosely.

He laughed again while moving his arm to place it under his head casually. “How so?”

She passively laid her free hand on his chest. “Well…I don’t know. You’re just always funny and cute,” she responded, a smile forming at how silly her reason sounded.

His own grin grew as well, just as enthused as she was. “I hope the illusion wasn’t completely broken.”

“Of course not,” she confirmed lightly. “Now you’re funny and cute…and used to host orgy parties…”

He chose not to reply verbally to that and instead idly played with a strand of her hair.

“Guess that also answers your stance on the groupie option…” She added still in thought.

He sat up a little. “The answer to a question for a very long time ago,” he stressed again and cupped her face lovingly. “It’s just me and you now.” After a silence, Julianna chose to lighten the mood more jokingly.

“Right. I forgot I was involved with a senior citizen.”

“Alright you,” he jested back then suddenly pulled her forward and blew a raspberry on her shoulder, causing her a giddy shriek out of her.


	7. Unlucky Star

Ch. 7: Unlucky Star

North Hollywood, August 1996

Eventually Julianna learned to set her recent worries to the back of her mind and try to enjoy the last month of their summer in Hollywood. Not that that was particularly hard as it was, since she’d come to find other problems to be distracted with. She discovered the farther the band got into touring and recording, the more impatient and curter they became with each other. She wasn’t expecting the change in mood so radically, but then again, she’s never experienced the working environment of a big band like this upfront before. Part of it she figured was that they weren’t as young and energetic as they were in their prime and just naturally lost steam more easily. Peter’s solo efforts were also so lowkey and modest, he could practically set his own pace however he wanted. That wasn’t really the case with the Monkees as there was a whole team of people consisting of the group, managers, executives, venue owners, and so on running things. Julianna knew Peter was more comfortable with the former, but she also realized he made more money working with the Monkees, so he compromised. She also appreciated that Peter made an effort back at the apartment to hide whatever tension or frustration he might have left over from earlier in the day.

Another thing that had happened, and that she hadn’t really told anyone about yet, is Julianna made a new friend. Or as much of a friend as you can be with someone you only see in one location on a somewhat weekly basis. She found a coffee shop she’d come to enjoy on snack breaks across the street and usually spoke with one of the baristas who regularly served her named Tim. He was attractive, they got along nicely, and he appeared to be around her age (she eventually found out he was a month younger than her). Sometimes Tim would even sit with her and chat for a couple of minutes as she drank her iced tea or ate a muffin. Julianna quickly realized if she was single, she’d probably like him even more than as a friend. Since neither of them had made an effort to meet outside of the café, she didn’t feel the need to mention yet that she wasn’t single.

It was a bit awkward on her end back in the studio, since she became friendly with everyone else in the band. Mike, Peter and Davy could be passive aggressive with each other, and Micky appeared to be the mediator of the four. The latter didn’t surprise her, as she rarely saw him in an unpleasant mood, even if his lyrics were currently bitter. While Mike and Peter would occasionally give each other the silent treatment, Davy was the one most likely to snap back. On a particularly moody day, he even snipped at Julianna when she accidentally bumped into him.

“God, what’s his problem?” The assistant asked, not bothering to use tact once the singer was out of the room.

“He still hasn’t recovered from turning 50?” Micky replied nonchalantly while sitting in one of the soundboard chairs.

“Well that’s too bad, but I don’t need his midlife crisis on top of everything else,” she said flatly.

He genuinely laughed at that. “Why? Already dealing with someone else’s?”

Micky didn’t get a response to the semi-rhetorical question as Julianna was already opening the studio door and heading to the hall. She vaguely heard him shout “Mike or Peter?” as the door closed as she left the building outside for a break. When she felt she was alone by the side of the studio building, Julianna tried to discreetly take a cigarette out of her short-sleeved blouse’s front pocket. She’d been secretly keeping a spare with her throughout the summer, even though she doubted she’d need it—which was true until this past week when she felt her newfound anxiety and the group’s stress began taking her over. She took a lenient drag after lighting the stick and rubbed her temple with her eyes closed. She opened her eyes when she heard the side door open, and found Mike in front of her, looking like he wasn’t expecting to see her. Julianna quickly lowered her hand holding the cigarette out of instinct; until she instantly realized it probably didn’t matter since she and Mike were on good terms, and there was a slim chance of him mentioning her smoking to Peter.

“You ever feel like the whole world is against you?” She randomly asked.

He motioned his arm in the general direction as if it should be obvious.

“Oh…” She remembered awkwardly.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” he replied changing the subject.

“I usually don’t…well, I used to socially. Or when I needed to distract myself from something hectic,” she explained. “I guess I got lucky with not catching the addiction bug.”

“What’s hectic in your life?” He asked genuinely interested.

“Well, you guys haven’t exactly been the most chipper set of musicians this past week…”

“True,” he agreed coolly. 

“If only your fangirls knew how many F-bombs Davy’s dropped recently.”

There was a comfortable silence for about a minute, with Julianna taking another drag and blowing the smoke away from Mike. She wondered for a moment if that would be considered rude since he wasn’t smoking, but he didn’t seem to mind. She thought about asking him why he stepped outside, but instead chose to be franker.

“Mike…”

He waited for her to continue.

“…This is the longest Peter and I have been apart since we started living together…”

Something about her delivery of the sentence must’ve given him enough of a clue of what she was hinting at, as she noticed him nod subtly. He took his time answering more than she wanted though.

“I’m not sure what to say to that,” he responded bluntly.

She tried not to look disappointed. “Well, I appreciate your honesty, I guess,” she said dryly. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it after a final drag. He gave a casual grin before turning away and walking toward the parking structure.

“Wait, are we done already?” She asked confused at his destination.

“Oh, yeah, we’re ending early today,” he revealed and turned around again to face her. “I’m meeting Victoria at Islands for dinner.”

Julianna’s face lit up pleasantly. “Oh, that’ll be nice. She’ll like that.”

“Yeah…I’m starting to feel like crap for spending all my time at the studio or in court,” he confessed.

She shrugged lightly in support. “It’s not like you can help it.”

He nodded a bit. “Doesn’t make me feel any better.”

She nodded in return, both in understanding and for lack of anything else to add.

Back inside the studio, Julianna downed the rest of her iced tea she’d left in her corner to rid of the tobacco taste in her mouth. She then packed her bag and set it on her shoulder with the intention of finding Peter next. Only barely two feet into her trail, the instrumentalist practically jumped in front of her.

“Hey!”

“Hi,” she responded with a slight laugh in surprise.

“Sorry you had to see us…not in the best light today,” he apologized carefully.

She smiled earnestly. “It’s fine. Do you realize how many weirdos we get in the library? I think I can handle a few men bitching at each other,” she ended flippantly.

“Well good to know none of us goofs fit the ‘weirdo’ label anymore,” he joked back. “Who were they anyway, junkies or homeless? Both?”

“Probably both. Some of them would try to use the public computers in the corner to look up porn,” she explained and noticed him cringe at the detail.

“Yeah, that’s something you’ll definitely not have to worry about with this set,” he assured. “For one, Mike’s the only one who knows how to use a computer!” He jested again. 

Julianna let out a half-chuckle/half-snort at the humorous claim when she thought she might have heard a noise by the door. But before she could look, Peter suddenly pulled her forward in an embrace and kissed her. The action stunned her for a second before she naturally responded, feeling a little thrill out of the passion. When she set her hands on his shoulders, his own hands lingered down to her hips and around her waist. Just a second later she heard the door loudly fly open. She slightly opened her eyes as their lips moved a bit, and she glanced to the side to faintly see Mike’s back and holding what appeared to be a tape she assumed he forgot in the studio. Suddenly she rolled her eyes and pulled away from Peter. 

“Oh, come on.”

“What?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Really? You were showing off to Mike,” she accused not impressed.

“Well, can you blame me. You’re gorgeous,” he flirted and gingerly rubbed her arm.

The compliment didn’t affect her. “He’s living with a fashion model. I doubt it made any difference.”

“I don’t know about that. Victoria doesn’t have all of this going on up there,” he considered while playing with her wavy hair.

She swiped his hands away from her head. “Please don’t drag me into your pissing matches. I actually work with this group almost as much as you currently.” 

He let his hand drop and sighed with a weak smile. “You have a point. That was out of line.”

“Thank you,” she accepted and linked arms with him to show she wasn’t holding a grudge.

“It’s your turn to decide on dinner,” he reminded as they strolled out of the studio.

“Well, I was thinking about PF Chang’s, but now I’m feeling a little torturous and taking you to McDonald’s…”


	8. Never Enough

Ch. 8: Never Enough

LA, August 1996

Only a day later, Peter and Julianna were seated at the small apartment dining room table. Both were silent and just sitting, doing nothing in particular. Peter looked like he was waiting for Julianna to finally speak, who in return appeared to be fixated and in thought. He eventually knocked on the table as if it was a front door.

“You know, I can’t really help, if I don’t know what the dilemma is…”

When she didn’t look at him, he tried again.

“Alright, I promise to never kiss you in public again,” he joked about yesterday’s incident as a way to get her attention. 

“You know I would’ve been into that if the context was different,” was all she said, still not looking at him.

“Right…so we’re fine now, yes? That’s the impression I got anyway, so…”

“…Maybe…”

That response perplexed him. “Why maybe?”

A few, long seconds went by before she ultimately replied in frustration: “Because I’m still thinking about that letter—sorry.” She nervously ran her hands through her hair and Peter scooted back in his seat with a deep sigh.

“Jesus, Juli, it’s been two weeks,” he said tiredly. “I mean…I really don’t know how else I can convince you…”

She huffed and finally faced him. “Well, you know, maybe you shouldn’t have ripped it out of my hand, Peter. That’s like the most suspicious reaction you could have had.”

He looked away, not bothering to come up with an excuse for that. “Okay, so you don’t believe me and now you have trust issues. What do we do now? Should we break up?” He suggested plainly, forcing her to lead the conversation.

“If you’d asked me this last month, I would have said that’s ridiculous,” she continued annoyed.

“Because it is! Look, I’ll admit I foolishly gave you the wrong impression, but I insist you have nothing to worry about…”

She stood up and started pacing anxiously.

“…You can still come along for the last couple weeks of shows,” he weakly suggested.

Julianna exhaled loudly. “I don’t want to be the kind of girlfriend who’s constantly looking over her shoulder.”

“Then don’t!” He kept insisting. “You never worried about anything like this before.”

She kept pacing. “I thought I was enough before.”

“You still are—”

“I’ve never been with a musician before you, I wasn’t familiar with the music community. I mean, I knew groupies existed, but I guess I assumed there was an age limit for that sort of thing…” She rambled.

“There pretty much was for me. I basically stopped all that the day I found out Reine was pregnant,” he claimed.

“Why did she leave you anyway?” She asked, suddenly stopping to face him and intent on picking his brain.

“Because I couldn’t stay sober?”

“Well, yeah, I know, but—really? That was it?”

There was a long pause with Peter searching for the right thing to say. “…Well, there was—”

“Okay, thanks for that,” she abruptly cut off.

“Juli, that was 20 years ago, am I not capable of changing?” He asked as if otherwise were ridiculous.

“I figured you did after you joined AA,” she considered.

“You’re right, and then I lived with Jennifer for eight years. And she was around on all of the ‘80s tours. Sounds pretty normal, huh?” He detailed now completely turned in his seat to face her.

She exhaled again. “I don’t want to know why that relationship ended.”

“Because she didn’t want to move out of New York,” he answered anyway. “Jules…please…”

She was biting the side of her lip in concentration. “Well, maybe you could explain why you’re writing to another woman. Even if she’s just a fan,” she challenged.

Peter sat blankly for a moment, not expecting that request. “Alright…” He began cautiously. “She—Mary—was at the first West Virginia show. You know how fans can get a chance to meet us backstage? Well, she and her friend got to be the ones for that show—”

“How old is she?”

The question caught him off guard. “…What?”

“I’m just wondering if she’s closer to my age or yours,” Julianna clarified.

“Uh…I think she said she was finishing grad school,” he replied then continued the story. “So Mary and her friend stop by after the show—apparently this whole day was a big surprise for her, and she started becoming emotional when she saw us backstage. Her friend—whose name escapes me, unfortunately, said that I was Mary’s favorite of the group when she was a schoolkid. I gave her a hug and we took a couple of photos. Then I played her favorite Monkees song on my acoustic. And…that’s about it. Ward and Davy were there the whole time too if you want to ask them about it as well.”

She crinkled her brow as she contemplated the story. “So…did she write you first? Because that still doesn’t really explain—”

“Yeah, she did,” he abruptly concurred.

She raised an eyebrow at how quickly he answered, yet didn’t find anything unusual through his facial expression.

Peter leaned toward her in his seat. “Julianna, when would I even have time for an affair? I’m with you every day when I’m not with the band—either one. You even said yourself we might need a break from each other.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d move on to the next girl you saw.” She felt defeated.

“Well, no need to worry, because I didn’t…” 

“I just…I don’t know how I feel about this…” 

Peter’s own brow arched at that. “Juli…wouldn’t this crisis you’re having make more sense three years ago?”

She suddenly broke out of her mini-trance. “Why? Were you actually in a relationship when we met?”

“Huh? No—I mean, I was dating, but not seriously,” he corrected.

“Oh, okay,” she nodded in relief.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her a bit closer. “Stop worrying. I’ve never betrayed you, I’ve never abandoned you, I’ve never lied—”

She cut him off with a sarcastic laugh. “I don’t know about that, Peter.”

“…When have I lied to you?” He passed back.

“Well, I still don’t know why your kids don’t like visiting.”

He was taken aback at the change in direction the conversation took. “That’s not a lie, that’s me not dragging you into an awkward situation. Which isn’t even a big deal anymore, so—”

“Keeping me in the dark on certain things in your life only causes other issues, but alright,” she interrupted.

“What’s in the dark? Hallie’s stopping by next week, and Ivan you know, his career is getting—”

“Literally no one is obligated to work on Christmas,” she reminded him of a past episode.

“Why is this such a quandary for you?” He kept at.

“Because I’m having a hard time understanding why they might not want to be with you when you’re so great with me,” she insisted, forgetting that she was originally upset with him when the conversation started.

He paused for lack of an explanation for that. “That goes both ways, you know. You still haven’t introduced me to your parents.”

She was briefly speechless at the accusation. “You can meet my parents if you want…”

“Sure, but I need you to do that and I have a feeling you’d rather not,” he alleged.

Julianna didn’t like how this argument was turning around to her. “What does it matter anyway? It’s not like I’m in school, we’re both mature, working adults.”

“It’s a sign of progression in the relationship…You met most of my family when I took you to Storrs over New Year’s, I’m sure meeting yours would be just as great. Unless they have stigmas against pop music and sitcoms,” he ended with a joke.

“It’s not your celebrity status I’m worried about, Peter. I’m not sure how they’d react to me dating someone less than ten years younger than them…” She confessed.

“It’s a little more than dating now…” He persisted.

“What if I like how we are currently, with it just being us? Why can’t it just be the two of us?” She struggled to explain.

“I guess, but the longer we’re together, the more difficult it’s going to be to hide it…” He considered.

“We haven’t had any problems so far,” she recounted.

“What if I was planning on…” He rubbed her ring finger of the hand he was still holding.

Julianna let go and casually placed her hand to her side unimpressed. “You don’t want to get married. You already tried that twice.”

“Well, maybe I hadn’t found the right girl yet,” he tried lightly.

“Maybe I don’t want to get married. The past couple of years have already been perfect, why change it?”

“I’m not sure about that,” he suddenly argued. “It took you quite a while to feel comfortable going out in public as a couple.” He wasn’t bother using tact anymore. “That’s why you were so nervous about going to the Hard Rock event—”

“That wasn’t because I was uncomfortable about being with you, I didn’t want to give the wrong impression and make you look bad since I’m so much younger than you. And I was over it by the end of the day anyway, so who cares?” She was now peeved. 

“I see,” Peter commented. “So you’re only comfortable with us when we’re alone and you don’t want anyone else in your life to know about our relationship, but you want to know everything I do when I’m out of the house? Did I get all of that?”

She exhaled in frustration. “Why are we even talking about me? This was supposed to be about you cheating,” she brought back around.

He released a sarcastic ‘ha’ noise. “Right. Julianna, if you’re really ashamed—”

“I’m not.” She really wasn’t and she hated that he looked a little sad when he suggested it. “I love being with you, honestly…” She began and considered her next step to take in the discussion while he stood up from the table. “…I’ll call my parents soon and introduce you,” she relented. She heard a sigh come from him as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

“It’ll be fine. I’m actually pretty good at this sort of thing,” he claimed lightheartedly with a lopsided grin.

“I’m sure you are, Peter,” she agreed with the same soft tone and looked down for a second. “Just don’t keep secrets from me,” she stated softly as a way to end the whole argument as she glanced back up at him. He gave her left shoulder a squeeze.

“I really don’t think I have. Not in the way you’re implying, anyway. Hallie and Ivan don’t hate me. They don’t hate you—I know that’s crossed your mind more than once. You’re reading a lot into barely anything,” he calmly insisted. He then cupped her face with both hands so they were facing each other. “And I’ve never been unfaithful to you,” he said confidently with a warm smile. Julianna took her time reacting, searching his face for signs that he was lying. She struggled to find any as he pleasantly continued to look at her. When she felt his thumb touch her earlobe, she exhaled a shaky sigh and closed her eyes before muttering: 

“I really want to believe that.” It came out more desperate than she wanted and based on Peter’s reaction when she opened her eyes, her face must not look much better. His expression gradually dropped and he let go of her face.

“You know, I think I’m going to take a walk,” he said plainly as he stepped away to grab a jacket haphazardly left on the couch.

“Peter…” She meekly tried.

“See you later,” he parted as he opened the door and exited. Julianna slumped in disappointment at the discussion and disappointed in herself.


	9. Whatever's Right

Ch. 9: Whatever’s Right

Malibu, August 1996

Julianna wasn’t happy at all with how things concluded with her confrontation with Peter. After about 30 minutes of being left alone in the apartment from him rapidly leaving, she felt like she could use some fresh air to free her mind as well. Rather than tempt fate by possibly bumping into him in the neighborhood, she grabbed the keys to his car and drove out to the beach. So many things wracked her brain while she walked through the warm sand in a tank-top, tiny workout shorts and a flimsy mini-sweater that warm afternoon. 

She didn’t like that he accused her of being self-conscious of their relationship, though she also realized it was still partly true. She also didn’t fully believe he was seriously planning on proposing, but it got her thinking about where exactly their relationship could go in the future. Julianna naively chose to just ‘live in the moment’ or ‘go with the flow,’ which wasn’t too hard, as Peter never really asked for much on the other end anyway. She sometimes felt guilty at how generous he was with her, especially since she wasn’t even paying rent while living at his house. And when she did bring that up, he just laughed in his usual, cheerful way. 

Did Julianna really want to spend the rest of her life with Peter? On the rare times she thought about it, she couldn’t place what she was feeling. Where else could the relationship go if they weren’t aiming for marriage and kids? She knew it was possible, a couple of her parents’ friends were happily childless. Marriage was never a dealbreaker for her, and she didn’t really imagine herself as the wife of any of the previous guys she was involved with. If they stayed together, Peter would also be experiencing elderly issues a lot sooner than she would be. Julianna didn’t know if she was strong enough as a partner to handle things like that. But at the end of the day, if she loved everything about him and was happy being with him, shouldn’t that be enough? Peter had made it clear that he was still completely enamored with her, even more obvious by hard he tried to get her to on tour with him. Why did she always have to make things complicated with over-thinking and skepticism?

On her way back to the car after around an hour of walking on the beach, someone recognized and stopped Julianna in her path. It was Tim from the coffeeshop. She greeted him peacefully, actually a little relieved at the distraction from her thoughts. She joked that she wouldn’t have guessed him to be a surfer while pointing to the wetsuit he was currently wearing. He laughed and didn’t give much of an explanation other than ‘when in Rome.’ She must’ve still been showing signs of being lost in thought because he asked what was on her mind. She came up with some excuse of trying to enjoy the beach before summer ended. Before Tim could ask her anything more personal, she casually ended the conversation with a parting. He then quickly gave her a hug she wasn’t expecting, but leaned into it anyway as it did feel a bit comforting. She then joked about how he was ‘lucky’ his wetsuit was still dry before finally getting back into the car and driving back to the apartment.

“I don’t know, maybe he really is telling the truth. The more I confront him about the letter, the crappier I feel.”

Julianna was now sitting on the corner of the living room couch while using the cordless phone, and lazily looking out of the window to the neighborhood. Peter still wasn’t back, but she also considered he could have returned while she was out herself, and then found another form of transportation since she had the car. 

“Yeah, if you can’t find any other signs…” Victoria lingered on the other end.

“No. And he doesn’t sound like he’s lying when we talked about it.” She sighed.

“Well…” Victoria cautiously began. “You could always ask someone else who is on the tour…”

Julianna herself paused before continuing. “Actually…I’m not proud of this but,” she let out another sigh. “I did actually ask Ward about the tour a couple days ago.”

“Really? You asked him about fans or?…”

“Well, I tried to subtly ask if any ‘on tour antics’ still happened with the reunion shows…” She revealed.

“…And?”

“…And…he said it’s usually just families visiting backstage these days,” she answered weakly. “When I was around for the early shows in June, I remember Ward’s wife, Gillian, and a couple of the roadies’ girlfriends being the only other women on the road. So unless someone joined mid-tour…”

“I wouldn’t stress about it anymore,” Victoria assured. “Wasn’t he the bachelor of the group when they were young? Maybe he got all of that out of his system by the time he was 30. Like whatever the man version of a ‘slutty phase’ is.”

Julianna took her time responding as she saw the continued glancing outside. “Yeah, maybe…our talk got kind of personal by the end—”

She heard Victoria gasp. “Oh my God, I just got a great idea! Why don’t you spend the night at our place tonight?”

Julianna was a little caught off guard by the random request. “Oh…wouldn’t that be weird?”

“How so? Aren’t you and Mike friends now?” She questioned.

“Well, yes, but I just meant with his history with Peter…” Julianna furthered.

“But Peter wouldn’t be here with you, so I don’t see a problem?”

“That’s true…”

“It’ll be fun. You can see the house, and the dogs, and hang out for the rest of the night to help kill the tension from morning. The space apart will be good for you two,” Victoria insisted merrily.

Julianna couldn’t find anything bad with Victoria’s suggestion, so she agreed to the sleepover. An hour later she was standing in the living room of Mike’s LA house with her smaller traveling bag for an overnight bag and casually petting a light brown retriever. Victoria had picked her up from the apartment in her own car, since Julianna figured she should leave the car for Peter. She momentarily glanced around the home as she waited for Victoria to return from the other side of the house. Unlike Peter’s home, which you’d never guess was the residence of a former popstar with how low maintenance it is, Mike’s place was set up rather snazzy. Not in a pompous way, but he clearly didn’t mind spending a little for vanity’s sake. In just the living room, Julianna found a giant screen TV, an equal in size sound system, a VCR, two record players (one for CDs, one for vinyl), a coffeetable with some big books, and various art and plants on the walls and shelves. She figured the art and plants were more Victoria’s influence than Mike’s, but she also knew that the music artist did like to be worldly. Julianna could only imagine what was in the rest of the estate, as this one room had practically all she needed at her own home.

Suddenly the pet dog rushed away from her when she noticed Victoria skipped back into view. The latter ignored the dog’s happy bark and went straight to hug Julianna instead. “This is so exciting! We haven’t had anyone over since April—Oh, wait, I forgot about the kitchen…” As she hurried past Julianna, the guest saw Mike walk into the room and idly stop a couple feet in front of her. 

“Well. This is weird,” he stated bluntly, though she could tell he was being cheeky.

She smirked in amusement. “Why? Am I the first of Peter’s girls to visit your place?”

He sported a look confirming her question non-verbally.

“Oh…really? Even back then?” She asked surprised.

Mike shrugged. “He was usually the one throwing the parties.”

“I guess that’s true.” There was another pause as something occurred to Julianna. “Were you…?”

“No,” he responded with a chuckle. “Most of the time I was out the door after the first hour or two, before those activities started.”

“Oh, heh,” she nodded in understanding. “That would probably be me too.”

“Micky’s get-togethers were more my style,” he continued.

Julianna nodded again. “Makes sense.” She saw the canine take a seat on the edge of the couch. “Nice dog.”

“Thanks. I take it you and Peter don’t have pets,” he wondered.

She shook her head. “We’ve talked about maybe getting a cat, but…hasn’t happened yet,” she ended plainly.

He gave a nod back then said, “Make yourself comfortable,” before heading through the hall.

Victoria almost instantly reappeared once Mike was missing. “Hey, you want the guest room down here or upstairs?”

“Doesn’t really matter to me,” Julianna answered.

“Hmm, let’s just drop your stuff here since we’re going to eat soon anyway.”

“Okay. Do you mind if I borrow your phone? I forgot to write a note letting Peter know where I went and I don’t want him to worry,” she explained.

“Sure, no problem,” Victoria assured and pointed to the phone extension next to the kitchen.

“Thanks.” After setting her bag in the guest room, Julianna took out the apartment’s phone number she’d kept in her wallet for the summer and left the room to grab the cordless phone. Victoria seemed to have left the floor currently. Julianna released a sigh in slight anxiousness before calling and hearing the other end rang five times.

“Hello? Julianna?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” she coolly concurred. She heard a breath of relief on the other end. 

“Hey, where’d you go? I just got back.”

“Well, I sort of copied you and went for a walk myself, except I drove down to the beach. Then Victoria invited me to spend the night at her and Mike’s house and I took up her offer.” She couldn’t tell if she heard a laugh or a snort on the opposite end.

“Well, you should get a kick out of that if anything.”

“You’re okay with it?” Julianna asked slightly reserved.

“Should I not be?” Peter asked back.

“I mean, I just wanted to run it by you and make sure…”

She heard a legitimate laugh this time. “Juli, you’re an adult. Do whatever you want.”

She was taken aback by that remark. She wasn’t asking for permission, she just wanted to know if he would be comfortable with the idea of her sleeping over at his bandmate’s house on her own. “Uh, alright…See you tomorrow then,” she ended the phone call with. She then realized Victoria was back in the kitchen mixing a salad in a bowl as she hung up the device. 

“Hope you’re hungry,” Victoria said playfully. Julianna quickly discovered cooking wasn’t exactly the model’s forte, but she didn’t mind as she hadn’t had much of an appetite today as it was. The light dinner consisted of a basic ranch salad with some Ruffles and carrots on the side for the leftover dressing. The two friends pleasantly discussed some light topics, like how Julianna was beginning to really miss the bay area, and Victoria revealing that Mike was near getting granted a settlement with PBS. The latter Julianna was surprised he didn’t tell her himself, but then remembered the songwriter was generally a little peculiar with what he chose to share. After they finished with their food, the pair moved to the living room couch with a platter Victoria made of assorted cheeses and crackers, and she poured two glasses of Merlot. They casually chatted while flipping back-and-forth between VH1 and HBO on the TV.

The dog from before, whom Julianna discovered was named Teddy, jumped on the couch next to Victoria and the brunette began cheerfully petting and cuddling him. “I so lucked out with Mike being as big a dog person as I am,” she jovially stated with a smile.

Julianna grinned a little at the sight too. “That is always nice. It’s also usually a sign that you’re compatible for kids.”

Victoria froze for a milli-second at the statement before going back to petting. “I think Mike’s a bit past that stage of life,” she replied with a vague tone that Julianna couldn’t place as disinterest or somber. 

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

She was briefly speechless again at the counterpoint. “…Well, have you and Peter thought about kids?”

“Oh…not really…” Julianna responded not expecting her own question tossed back at her.

“There you go then,” Victoria ended flatly. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before the women looked back to the TV. Julianna then tried to kill the tension by changing the subject.

“So, um. How’s…law school?” She asked randomly remembering a subject in Victoria’s life.

“Huh? Oh, I dropped out,” she revealed as she glanced back at the other woman. “Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking before. All that legal jargon is such a headache. Mike’s just going to make me the front desk girl when the Videoranch office opens.”

“Oh, I see. Well…That works too,” Julianna said for lack of anything better to come up with.

The two women decided to turn off the TV an hour later, followed by Victoria giving Julianna an impromptu tour of the house and backyard. The latter having an impressive pool+jacuzzi, in addition to the usual patio and small lawn of grass next them. Victoria offered to turn on the jacuzzi, though the guest passed on the offer since it was getting late. The friends hugged after re-entering the house and Victoria said ‘good night’ before making her way to the main bedroom. Julianna easily eyed the living room, dining room and kitchen from the corner of the hall. She still wasn’t sleepy and didn’t feel like going to bed yet. She looked down to find Teddy was sitting in front of her, waiting for her to do something. She assumed the dog didn’t go to bed with Mike and Victoria at the same time. Sighing she headed into the kitchen and refilled her glass of water from dinner then took a sip. The microwave clock showed ‘10:40 PM.’ She absent-mindedly looked at the items around room before her eyes landed on the wine fridge. Through the glass door she could see the red bottle from earlier, but she stopped at a half-empty bottle of Chardonnay. That actually was more her style back when she regularly drank. Biting the side of her bottom lip, she continued staring at the bottle. Feeling a pair of eyes on her, Julianna slowly turned to see Teddy casually sitting in the corner of the room still watching her. She passed her eyes back and forth between the dog and fridge a few times, then let out an agitated breath. 

“Screw it.” She moved to open the fridge and take out the bottle, then grabbed another wine glass from the cabinet she saw Victoria open before. Julianna poured the glass halfway up and downed it. It tasted wonderful. Of course Mike didn’t bother with the cheaper stuff. Or maybe the liquid was Victoria’s preference. Whatever the case, Julianna filled it again and took another gulp, ignoring the dog’s stare all the while. When she finished that cup with another big gulp, she grabbed the bottle along with the glass and left for the guest room again.

**** 

When Julianna woke up around 8:20 AM, she discovered Peter had called and wanted to meet at the park closest to the apartment. She presently had a splitting headache, and since he suggested meeting at 10:30, she took her time laying in bed and getting her senses together. When she left the bedroom at roughly 9:15, she found a cup of tea made for her on the kitchen counter that Mike, or more likely Victoria made for her based on the handwriting of the note. Julianna sipped about a third of the cup before deciding she should get dressed and head out. When she was done packing and popped an Ibuprofen Victoria gave her for the headache, she found the recycle bin in the kitchen and guiltily tossed the empty wine bottle in it.

Julianna walked across the park grass at the decided time to see Peter was already there. He was wearing plain jeans and white buttoned-up shirt, while she was in her own pair of jeans, black zipped-up sweatshirt, sunglasses and her hair in a loose ponytail. She didn’t bother with make-up after washing her face earlier.

“Hey,” Peter greeted friendly.

“Hi,” she returned, though a lot groggier than usual. There was a long pause as she felt Peter study her appearance like an investigator.

“…You’re hungover,” he neutrally claimed.

“…No…” She first attempted, but then rolled her eyes and exhaled in annoyance. “Yes.” She sighed in defeat. “Sorry.”

He grinned in amusement. “No, don’t be. I’m sorry I missed witnessing the fun,” he teased.

She tossed her ponytail over her shoulder tiredly. “Wasn’t actually much fun. I took the bottle out after Mike and Victoria went to bed,” she admitted.

“Ah. So what was your choice of poison? Tequila? Rum?” He inquired playfully.

“Neither. Just ordinary, basic white wine,” she revealed lethargically.

“Oh-ho, a lady of taste. Hippie me would’ve approved,” he claimed with a light smile.

“I guess. I think this is the first time I’ve been this drunk since my early 20s,” she continued lazily.

There was a somewhat comfortable silence as each glanced around the park before Peter began conversing again. “I’ve done a lot of thinking.”

Julianna kept another short pause. “I’ve been thinking a lot too.”

“Oh? You first,” he calmly suggested.

“Well…” She wasn’t sure where to begin and took a while coming up with an explanation. “I’ve thought about us…how our relationship started…up until about now…How much of an impact you’ve made on my life…how different my life would be if I…theoretically hadn’t met you…” She revealed the last bit cautiously. “You know, this is the first time I’ve really stopped and tried to think about where we could go in the future…I don’t know where we’re going or even really should—”

“Ah…there it is,” Peter suddenly interrupted in concentration.

Julianna was caught off guard. “…What?”

“You’ve met someone,” he declared plainly.

She continued to be mentally stunted. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve met someone recently who you could see yourself getting involved with if we weren’t an item,” he claimed, still neutral.

She wasn’t expecting this accusation to be a part of their conversation. She figured he was referring to Tim, but she also wouldn’t know how he was aware of her even going to the coffeeshop on her breaks since she never mentioned it as far as she could recall. “I’m not cheating on you, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“No, I don’t believe you are,” he clarified. “But you would be interested.”

“Even if I did become attracted to someone else recently, it still wouldn’t make much sense considering I don’t live here and don’t really care enough about LA to move,” she pointed out.

“He’s probably close to your age, huh?” Peter theorized while ignoring her statement.

“Like you have any room to talk,” she decided to argue back with.

He released a genuine guffaw. “Touché.”

Julianna rubbed her temple softly, now feeling her headache return slightly. “You know, I might not actually be in the best state of mind to be having these kind of conversations right now. And I don’t want to forget to buy a new bottle of wine for Mike and Victoria.”

“I’m sure it’s fine if you don’t,” he considered in assurance.

“Maybe. But my conscious will mostly feel better if I do anyway,” she insisted. “Can we try this again in a couple days?”

Peter didn’t react much to the suggestion other than his regular smile. “Sure.” He rubbed her arm gently before walking around her and continuing down onto the sidewalk. Julianna only turned her head to watch him leave, ambivalent at how little had been accomplished in the short meeting.


	10. What I Know

Ch. 10: What I Know

Hollywood, August 1996

The following morning Julianna strolled up to the coffeeshop as if it were any other day, out of habit. It wasn’t until she stepped into the building that it hit her she might have wanted to try a new place after Peter’s comments yesterday. Not because his theory was accurate, but mostly because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to deal with it possibly being awkward on her end if Tim was the one serving her like usual. Fortunately it looked like he wasn’t even on shift currently, and she wasn’t going to wonder on it too much. 

After Julianna drank half of her iced tea and finished her chapter of Gregory McDonald’s **Fletch** , she decided to take the rest back to the studio. Although if she really wanted to, she probably could have just left for the rest of the day, as Mike was practically done with the album’s mixing and just looking for excuses to visit the studio. Only five feet out the door and she heard a male voice call her name. She turned to discover Tim was holding the door open to peek out. 

“Oh, hi!” Julianna greeted back and turned to face him. “I thought maybe you switched with someone else’s schedule today.”

“Yeah, I had to drop off my brother at the airport this morning, so I got Mark to cover for me,” he explained easily.

“Oh, that was nice of him,” she said.

“Yeah,” he agreed while stepping fully out and closing the front door. “Hey, so anyways. How far from the city do you live? There’s this event going on tonight at the Mint where they have a brand new, local band as the Thursday night act for only $10 per person. A couple of friends and I are stopping by tonight. You got anything going on?”

Julianna sensed Tim looked not only naturally excited at the plan, but also like he was hoping she’d say yes. Even if he just meant it as a friendly suggestion, there was still that chance it could grow into something more if she kept this going. Waiting a moment to figure out how to respond, she offered a smile.

“That does sound like a lot of fun.” He smiled in agreement. She waited another second before finally revealing, “You know, Tim…I really should have mentioned this a lot earlier…I’m actually in a relationship.” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Julianna felt a sense of relief, but also hesitation, which she assumed probably showed on her face. She didn’t introduce herself as Peter’s girlfriend often, and when she did it was mostly to people he knew. Even just vaguely referencing him without name made her still feel the infatuation she felt when they first started dating. She didn’t have that feeling with Tim, as nice as he was and despite enjoying their chats. 

His expression dropped to either surprise or disappointment that she couldn’t decide on as he quickly tried to rebound with a casual reaction. So apparently Peter was half-right with his theory.

“I think we have something planned tonight, so that’s why I’m telling you,” she fibbed a little. “But I totally would go if I was available,” she added hoping that could sound in more than one way as a gentle attempt to turn him down.

“Guess I set myself up for this not asking you sooner,” he said with a light smile.

“Even though it would’ve been the same result?” She asked with a playful, lopsided grin.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “The rejection probably would’ve been less disappointing right away,” he suggested frankly.

“I’m sorry I led you on,” she apologized honestly.

“You didn’t,” he assured. “Neither of us really made a move anyway.”

She smiled in appreciation. “You’re a good guy.”

Tim shrugged modestly. “You at least made my job a little more interesting this summer. So thanks for that,” he smiled once again.

Julianna was relieved at how well this was going and made her even more confident in her closure regarding Peter. There was a short comfortable silence before she decided to part with a farewell. “Well…I’m not sure if I’ll make another stop here in the next week…So thanks for making my lunch breaks memorable,” she replied back tranquilly. 

“Anytime, Jules,” he ended before opening the café door again with a wave.

Julianna returned to the apartment at the end of the day on her own, expecting Peter to show up from the last week of touring late. But apparently she’d misremembered what time the trio was arriving or she was unaware of a change of plans; because as soon as she opened the front door, Peter was right in front of her. 

“Oh, hey—”

“Wait, before you say anything,” he abruptly cut in while taking hold of her shoulders. “I just want you to know that…I love you, and support any decision you make regarding our relationship. Any decision. I care for you, but I don’t want you to feel pressured into choosing anything you don’t want.” He let go of her and exhaled a big breath as if he had been held underwater. “Okay, that felt good,” he added with a smile.

“Well, alright…I’m glad you said that because it makes this a lot easier…” She saw a glimpse of fear cross his face for a split second. “I’ve thought about it a bit more and…” Julianna chose to place her bag on the small table next to the front door as an excuse for another moment. “And…” She saw anxiousness spread across his face at her stalling. She took her own breath in preparation. “…I want to go back home with you.” She felt emotion hit her harder than she planned. “I really want to be with you,” she continued with a choke in her voice. 

Peter let out another relieved sigh. “Oh, Julianna,” he said sweetly as he pulled her into a tight hug. She felt a comforting squeeze before he rubbed her back soothingly. She leaned into the embrace warmly and sighed into his chest. She faintly heard him utter apologies and promises into her hair, while she focused on how good it felt to be held by him. It almost reminded her of how wonderful it was when the first time he kissed her. Everything that had come between them in the past few weeks suddenly felt so far away and unimportant anymore.


	11. It's Not Too Late

Ch. 11: It’s Not Too Late

Venice, September 1996

Though the album’s recording and tour travels were over for the summer, there was still another five days before Peter and Julianna drove back to San Francisco. There was going to be one final concert in LA to finish the seasonal gigs and Peter’s daughter Hallie was flying in to visit a couple days before that. Which was today. Julianna still couldn’t make up her mind what to think of the group’s second comeback album. But since Mike was acting cool and collected once mixing was completed, she thought maybe she was overthinking it. Though that mellowness could also be from the lack of stress since his legal issues were finally being resolved. She also considered that he and his bandmates were much more familiar with the music making thing, so who was she to doubt the record’s success? 

The present morning had Julianna looking through the mail. Once she was done with the small pile, she started reading a copy of Life Magazine. When she stood up to refill her glass of water, Peter entered through the bedroom already dressed in a plain cotton, long-sleeved T-shirt, khaki shorts and sandals. “Alright, so Hallie’s plane lands in almost an hour, so we should leave now since that corner of the city is always a pain with traffic.”

“Okay, sounds good. Have fun,” she replied lightly while walking back to the dining table, not noticing he used the word ‘we.’

Peter put his wallet in his pants pocket and turned back to her. “You’re coming too, aren’t you?”

Julianna crinkled her brow slightly. “Why would I?”

“Because it’s our last day to do something in town before we head back home and we get to play host too,” he recommended lively.

“Oh, Peter, I’m not tagging along for that. This is your day with her,” she insisted.

“But it would be a lot of fun.”

She snorted sarcastically. “Yes, I’m sure she’s dying to socialize with her dad’s girlfriend.”

“Well, she got along with Barbara and Jennifer great, so I’m sure being with you is fine too,” he said.

“I wouldn’t consider that the same thing since Hallie was a child when you were married to Barbara. Plus she even went through the effort to adopt her.”

Peter grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking back to her spot on the couch. “Aw, come on, Juli. You could see that she doesn’t have any issues with you up close.”

“Get real, Peter,” she fought as she coolly shook her hand away from him and placed her glass on the coffee table.

“You did say that you wanted to get together anyway,” he reminded.

“I meant at like a party or event, not one-on-one.”

He chuckled. “Jules, this really isn’t as big a deal as you’re claiming it is. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Uh, she doesn’t like me?”

“Ivan liked you.”

“And then he disappeared right after he met me,” she countered.

“He didn’t disappear. Life happens,” he took hold of her upper arms. “Come on, let’s spend one last day in LA before everything goes back to normal.”

She sighed tiredly, not convinced at the plan. “I’m not going to be a buzzkill for your daughter’s trip.”

“You’re the only one making yourself a buzzkill right now.” He rubbed her arm reassuringly. “Let me spend the day with my two favorite ladies.”

She gazed at him and held her breath for a moment. She didn’t want to ignite another big argument so soon after all had just been patched between them. And the look on his face did appear excited and hopeful. She exhaled. “Alright.” His smile grew and he pecked her lips as thank you. She glanced down at her current attire of a blue T-shirt, jeans and ponytail in her hair. “Give me a few minutes to change,” she stated as she left for the bedroom. 

Ten minutes later Julianna was walking toward the door after grabbing her purse. She now wore a simple, cotton dress that stopped at her ankles and had short, frilly sleeves. It was a yellow shade so light that from far it would look white, which is why she chose white flats for shoes. She kept her hair freely down and only a rosie lip gloss for make-up. Right as she locked the front door, she heard a clicking that sounded like a camera. She raised her head to find Peter on the steps taking a photo of her with a polaroid camera he’d been making use of throughout the summer. “Oh, jeez.”

He beamed up at her as he lowered the device. “Jules, you look so beautiful. I just had to snap a picture.”

She loosely swung her purse strap onto her shoulder. “You already have 100 photos of me, but alright.”

“Well, this is 101 now,” he commented before snapping one more shot. She followed him to their car and then hopped into the passenger seat. When they parked in the lot across the street from the airport, Julianna chose to stick behind in the car while Peter found Hallie. The wavy-haired brunette gave her dress an extra once over. She thought it was a nice choice for the late summer Saturday, but then started feeling she might have overdressed when she noticed Peter and Hallie walking to the car, with the latter wearing jeans and a black pullover sweatshirt.

“And now we’re all here,” Peter greeted as he sat back in the driver’s seat. “You remember Julianna, right, Hallie?”

Julianna turned halfway in her seat to smile at the slightly younger woman. “Hello. Nice to see you again—I mean meet you. I mean, we’ve talked on the phone before, but this is the first time we’ve met in person.” She grimaced at how awkwardly she introduced herself.

“Hi,” was all Hallie responded as she roughly tossed her full, oversized backpack onto the seat behind Peter and then buckled up in the seat behind Julianna. “Dad, does your apartment have a computer? Wondering if I can check my e-mail once this weekend.”

“Sorry to say no, Hal,” he revealed while turning on the car engine.

“Bummer. I was hoping to send Sara a couple photos.”

“You could always walk across the block to the library like Juli,” he suggested while looking over his shoulder to back out of the parking spot. “Exercise could do you good too.” Julianna turned back to smile again at the acknowledgement of her name and wondered who ‘Sara’ might be.

“Eh, maybe,” Hallie plainly replied. “Oh, you’re a librarian, right?” She suddenly remembered as she put on a pair of sunglasses.

“Yeah. But back home, not here,” she clarified hastily again.

There was a noticeable silence as the car drove along the streets for a couple of minutes, until Julianna decided to break it.

“So…how was the flight?”

Hallie shrugged. “About as tolerable as any other form of public transportation. Not as busy as it could have been the last week before school starts, so there was that.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot you teach elementary school,” Julianna added.

“I’m actually switching to middle school this month,” the raven-haired girl revealed flatly.

Julianna paused, trying to think of how to reply to the new info. “Oh…Well, I’m sure that’ll be a relief. I imagine the older kids are less of a hassle,” she theorized.

“No, they get worse with age. But that’s fine. I like a challenge.”

It was hard to tell where exactly Hallie was looking with her sunglasses on, but Julianna sensed that she might have been looking at her with that last comment. The brunette chose that moment to turn back around in her seat after giving another smile she hoped didn’t look as uncomfortable as it felt.

“So where do you want to start today?” Peter asked his daughter while looking in the rearview mirror. “Beach and pier? Or into the city?”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t live here, so anything would be a change of pace,” she continued deadpan-like.

They ultimately decided on the beach first and parked by the Santa Monica pier. When Peter turned the engine off, he convinced Hallie to get out first and gave her a couple of quarters to put in the parking meter. When she closed the door, he held Julianna’s hand. 

“See, she doesn’t want me to be here. Told you.”

“You’re being paranoid, she’s fine. You two just had a completely normal conversation,” Peter insisted. 

She raised an eyebrow unconvinced at his argument. 

“…Want me to drive you back to the apartment?” He suggested, albeit reluctantly.

She sighed in frustration. “No, that would be ridiculous at this point.”

“Then relax, you’re worrying about nothing,” he kept insisting.

“I really feel you’re over simplifying things…” 

“Only because you’re overthinking it. I promise the world is not that nerve-wracking once you stop assuming the worst,” he assured her.

Julianna thought it was a little funny he was making this claim considering his past history, but then she also knew Peter generally chose to be optimistic than show any pessimism. He squeezed her hand before letting go and opening the driver’s door. “Let’s go to the beach.”

The trio casually strolled along the long pier first with Peter and Hallie doing most of the talking, and Julianna primarily choosing to just listen. At one point Peter attempted to hold her hand again, but she discreetly crossed her arms over her mid-section instead. She gave him a smile to show there wasn’t a problem with him. When they made it to the end of the pier, Peter got the two women to pose for a photo, with Julianna realizing her sunglasses probably covered the pointed look she gave him before he snapped the camera.

While walking back to the front end of the pier, the group stopped by the snack stand. Peter and Julianna ordered a couple of sodas and Hallie getting a sorbet flavored ice cream. When they reached the front, Peter excused himself to buy an extra bottle of water. Trying to still dodge any kind of tension, Julianna attempted to chat once again. “So, you more into the city than the outdoors?”

Hallie shrugged a shoulder. “Sure. I live in a major city anyway.”

“Oh, then this trip is probably up your alley,” she carried.

“I guess. I’ve never liked LA.”

“Oh…” Before Julianna could think of another topic to alter the conversation with, she noticed the young teacher look around quickly, as if on watch.

“Look, Julianna, I’m going to make this easy for you,” she started while turning back to her. “You’re like the fifth woman my dad’s lived with since I was born. This is a lot more awkward for you than it is for me.”

The sudden revelation left the older woman speechless. 

“So if you’re worried that I’m secretly judging you or holding a grudge for being with him…That’s not happening right now,” Hallie assured calmly.

Julianna continued staring at her blankly, completely not expecting this turn of discussion.

“You going to be okay now?” 

The question instantly brought the other woman out of her trance. “Yes, of course.”

“Great. Because I think Dad was really looking forward to this outing today,” the daughter asserted while raising her head to see Peter walking back toward them.

Julianna bit back an annoyed breath at how apparent she had made it that she was uncomfortable throughout the meet-up, and not vice versa like she assumed. They turned to head back to the man of topic, with Hallie lightly patting Julianna’s shoulder. “You’ll survive. It’s only two days,” she added with a more playful tone.

The three spent the rest of the day down at the sand and visited some of the museums near Exposition Park after grabbing another bite to eat in the south part of town. Since they were in town all day, the couple and the guest spent dinner at the apartment with Peter and Julianna making a creamy pasta dish, along with a French baguette Julianna had bought at the store earlier that week. They then watched some TV and chatted while sitting in the living room before Hallie eventually said goodnight and excused herself to the second bedroom that had been unoccupied for the past summer. The next morning and early afternoon they all went to Westchester before dropping Hallie off at her flight at 3:15 PM. When the couple hopped back into the car after parting with Hallie, Peter suddenly grabbed Julianna’s forearm.

“Oh my God, Julianna. Julianna!” He exclaimed exaggeratedly.

The woman glanced around the car in bewilderment. “What? What is it?”

“Guess what!”

“What…”

“You made it through the whole weekend!” He revealed with a faux-shocked expression.

She rolled her eyes as her body relaxed from the brief surprise. “Yes, you were right once again.”

He removed his hand from her arm to hold her hand as he chuckled. 

“I’m sure it’ll be even better when she’s not a third wheel either,” she pondered as he let go to turn the car’s engine back on. “Like if she brings a boyfriend next time or something.”

Peter instantly let out another genuine laugh of amusement. “I wouldn’t count on that happening anytime soon, Jules.”

She crinkled her nose in confusion. “How come?”

“Because Hallie’s seeing a woman,” he revealed still amused while leaving the parking lot. 

Julianna sat stunned at his answer and wondered how she didn’t get that vibe while the two women got to know each other. “Huh…” Peter drove along the street for a minute before getting on the freeway. “So…that’s who ‘Sara’ is then?” She asked, the feminine name Hallie sometimes referred to throughout the weekend. Peter nodded in agreement. At the time she just figured the woman was a close friend. But thinking about it now, the subtle references could have also had an intimate context…


	12. Our Own World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I'm a little underwhelmed with the ending I came up with. But hey, at least I managed a happy ending this time around, lol.

Ch. 12: Our Own World

Santa Monica, September 1996

Julianna currently stood in the corner of the apartment kitchen in a black, mid-sleeved dress with red floral patterns, a beady necklace, mascara, red lipstick and her wavy hair rather voluminous. Peter had on denim pants, a satin, buttoned shirt and a blazer, all matching black and his now usual glasses. They should be heading out the door to the Monkees’ final concert for the summer, but Peter was currently in the middle of introducing himself to Julianna’s parents on the phone, much to her chagrin. The conversation actually didn’t sound too bad from her selective end. Peter really did know how to turn on the charm when he wanted to and just naturally had an endearing presence. Although she could only imagine the look of surprise on her parents’ faces when he revealed they were in a relationship. And she was relieved that he managed to not mention she lived with him. Julianna did try to discreetly leave the room at one point when Peter started a short story, but he quickly grabbed her hand to keep her from disappearing. When she heard him suggest meeting for dinner in the future, she instantly shook her head rapidly. Peter noticed her panic and rebounded with a light excuse that they had plans tonight and should be leaving soon before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. 

“Great, you got that out of your system, now let’s go to the show,” she rushed and moved toward the door. But he gently pulled her back with a light laugh.

“Wait, why did you react like that when I mentioned having dinner with them?”

She sported an unconvinced look. “You don’t really want to do that, do you…”

“Why not? They seemed nice,” he casually said.

“They’re fine, it’s just…” She hesitated again.

Peter smiled and pulled her to his side to wrap his arm around her shoulder warmly. “You gotta stop assuming the worst so much, Juli,” he declared as he led them out of the building. “Even if you wear it well.”

She snorted. “Yes, neurosis is so sexy.”

“Well, it is on you,” he claimed before rubbing her shoulder and letting go to open the door.

Backstage at the Santa Monica Civic Center, Julianna rested on the back of the wall in the corner of the room as the group prepared in between talking to friends and colleagues. She took a sip from her plastic water bottle when she spotted Victoria strolling up to her speedily and hugged her.

“I don’t know what you did, but Mike has been so appeasing lately.”

Julianna’s eyebrows arched in slight surprise. “I’m not sure what I did either…”

“Well, you are one of the few people not afraid to challenge him,” she considered.

“I guess. I was just trying to be a decent assistant though.”

“I think he respects that you don’t act like a suck-up to him,” the friend theorized.

“Maybe…he’s probably just relieved everything’s calmed down since the trial and the album’s done,” Julianna considered.

“Yeah, but he usually spends like a week sulking after bad experiences. He even suggested we go to Carmel next week!” Victoria revealed in both shock and excitement.

Her face lit up in more surprise. “Well, that sounds fun.”

“I know! I’m so stoked—Oh, hey, Gillian!” Suddenly the pretty brunette moved past Julianna to greet Davy’s girlfriend.

Julianna watched Victoria excitedly leave before turning her head to see Mike enter the room with Henry Diltz. He caught Julianna’s eye and gave her a quick nod with a small smile. She waved back with her own grin. She then saw Micky walking her way.

“Hey,” he started pleasantly.

“Hi,” she greeted back.

“Kind of feels unfortunate we didn’t get a chance to actually converse this summer,” he said.

“Well, you were sort of busy with recording sessions, touring, interviews, TV promos…” She listed with a smirk.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he agreed with a grin. “I just meant it would’ve been nice to get know more about you personally. To see how you seem to be a good influence on Peter easily.”

Julianna crinkled her brow a little at that. “Oh? How so?”

“Well, you got him to stop wearing pleather pants,” he jested, though also truthfully.

She suddenly guffawed earnestly and looked over at the man of topic in his more recent denim bottoms she convinced him were more fashionable. “I’m sure someone would’ve tipped him off eventually.”

“It’s a bit more effective coming from a girl you’re attracted to,” Micky claimed. There was a bit of a pause before he continued. “He hasn’t exactly had the best luck with friends over the years,” he carefully started.

“I know,” she confirmed calmly.

“It’s just nice to see that he has someone around not interested in partying or ripping him off. I mean, Jennifer was great. But it’s been a while since he’s…settled down,” Micky explained plainly.

Julianna nodded in understanding.

“Anyways, I’m glad he’s with you rather than shacking up with another bandmate,” Micky finally confessed.

“Well, thanks,” she sincerely replied. “This is making me slightly worry about his past girlfriend choices though…”

He laughed again. “No, they were fine…mostly.”

She shook her head with her mouth still in a lopsided shape. Eventually Micky excused himself as he noticed Harold Bronson and Ward enter the room. Julianna glanced around the backstage area until she found Peter walking in her direction. She skipped up to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a big, warm—albeit innocent—kiss.

“Wow! What did I do to deserve that?” He asked happily surprised at the action, with his hands landing around her waist.

She shrugged with a content smile. “Just felt like it for loving you, really. And I’m glad your colleagues don’t mind me.”

He looked amused at that last comment. “Well, you’ve been around all summer. Of course they like you by now.”

“I think Micky just gave us an approval,” she said.

Peter laughed. “That’s hysterical.” He then casually ran a hand through a strand of her wavy hair. “I miss the curls,” he admitted.

Julianna shrugged as a reaction. “You might actually see them again by the holidays. I’m starting to feel bad about how much I’m effecting the environment with my hair products,” she revealed. She gently kept her hands hanging on his shoulders for a small moment. “I’m happy you’re happy.” 

He continued to appear amused. “I’m happy you’re happy too,” he agreed, enjoying the current endearments, but not sure where the influence was coming from. 

She hugged him and comfortably sighed before noticing a stagehand was setting up Peter’s bass on the stage right as she felt him squeeze her. “You better get up there and do what you do best,” she said while pulling back to face him.

He gave her an additional peck on the lips while smiling. “Yeah, I guess that is why we came here, huh?” He asked rhetorically before separating from her. She gave his shoulders an extra squeeze before taking a step backwards herself. 

“I’ll be to your left as usual,” she stated warmly. 

Peter gave her a wink and set off to the stage, with Mike and Davy already ahead of him.


End file.
